Thursday, September 18, 2014

A Not So Long Time Ago, in a Neighborhood in New York City: Our Star Wars Poll Results and the Start of A New Marty Scorsese Poll

So here we are again, at the end of another poll. You were asked to pick and choose your favourite Star Wars character. Simple as that. You had eighteen characters from which to do this a-pickin' and this a-choosin'. Yeah, and none of this prequel nonsense either. These are original trilogy characters only. So, like I said, you had eighteen characters from which to choose. I even tossed in some unexpected peeps like Greedo and Wedge and even Wicket the Ewok. Anyhoo, there wasn't much of a surprise in the results. The expected character won, and the expected silver and bronze medalists did indeed come in second and third, with a tie for the Bronze, but really, all four characters were the ones I expected to finish at or near the top.. But enough of this, let's get on with announcing these results.

Coming in at that aforementioned expectant top spot is, or course, everybody's favourite lovable roguish space pirate, Han Solo. Out of the 109 votes cast over the last five weeks, this scruffy looking nerf herder managed to grab up 17 of them, for his inevitable first place finish. Coming in right behind Han, appropriately enough, is his best bud and co-pilot, Chewbacca. Chewie garnered 12 votes, and was in second place from day one all the way to the end. Then, sharing the third spot, also expected, was that scoundrel bounty hunter, Boba Fett, and that Sith Lord, Darth Vader, with 10 votes each. Just between these four guys, we have 47% of the vote count, and we still have another fourteen characters to look at. Needless to say (or needed, who knows) these other fourteen characters are all bunched pretty close together.

To breeze through these fourteen characters, they finished as follows. Brother sister team of Luke and Leia tied for fifth place, with 7 votes each. In a four tie for seventh place are Obi-Wan and Lando, and those not served at mos Eisley, C-3P0 and R2-D2, each with 6 votes. Coming in at eleventh place are both Yoda and Greedo. This green-skinned duo each grabbed up 5 votes. In thirteenth place, all by himself (It's a trap!!) is Admiral Ackbar, followed by Wedge, Tarkin, Wicket, and Jabba, each with just two votes. And then filing in at a last place finish, with not even a single vote cast his way (that's right, a big fat zero!), is that evil-doer extraordinaire, Emperor Palpatine. Sucks to be him. And that, ladies and germs, are the results of our Star Wars Character Poll, courtesy of everyone here at All Things Kevyn, which is pretty much just me, myself, and I, and maybe De la Soul. Anyway, I digress.

Which brings us to the part of the program where we announce the brand new poll, whose topic incidentally, was chosen my lovely wife. This one is a cinema-related poll. About as cinema-related as you can get. You are now asked to choose your favourite Martin Scorsese picture. That's right folks. I've gathered up all 23 of Marty's feature films (sorry, I had to leave the documentaries and shorts out, or else we would have close to fifty films in the poll) and now it is your job to pick which one is your favourite. And I'll let ya in on a little secret. You can actually vote once every 24 hours, and at different servers, so if you can't choose just one, just vote again. As they say, vote early and vote often, but you did not hear that from me.

Now all you have to do is head on over to the poll and get your vote on. This poll will run for seven weeks, ending at midnight EST the night of Wednesday, November 5th, with the results (and the announcement of a brand new poll) being posted on November 6th. As for how to vote, let me tell ya. So get on over to the poll, which can be found oh so conveniently near the top of the sidebar (really, ya can't miss it) and do what you must. It's easy peezy, lemon squeezy. You can also check out the running results over there as well. Then after you vote, feel free to hop back over here and comment away. So, with all that said, get on over there and get your vote on, and tell everyone you know to do the same! That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Comic Books With Which I Share a Birthday & Other Geeky Stuff

Before I get going on my inevitable comic book rantings and ramblings, I should probably mention that this post is a blatant rip-off of a post done recently by Bob Bretall, comic book collector extraordinaire (and freshly minted Guinness Book of World Records holder), over at his blog, ComicSpectrum, for which I have written a number of comic book reviews. Actually, it would probably be better if I said this post was inspired by Bob's post, instead of a rip-off, but let's face it, it's a blatant rip-off. Anyhoo, the whole idea of this ripped off post, is to take a look at the comic books with cover dates that match my own birth date. Below is an image, of my own making, with a collected cover gallery of some of the bigger named comics that share a birthday, or at least birth month, with yours truly. Below that, is more of my story (please remember, it's all about me), so be sure to keep scrolling down, for lots more really cool stuff.

So that's the whole idea. You see, Bob checked out the comic books published during his birth month (March 1962) and wrote about what he found, so I, I mean I was inspired, and followed suit by checking out the comic books published during my birth month (July 1967). Now actually, these comics are not necessarily the ones published during my birth month (comics are typically published several months prior to the date on their covers) but the ones with cover dates that match my birthday. But you get the idea. And yes, you can do the same thing by heading on over to Mike's Amazing World of Comics, and searching their database for any specific month in comic book history. Anyhoo, back to me, and those July '67 cover dated comic books.

There are some fun titles in here, but only one stands out as being a seminal part of comic book lore. That is the Amazing Spider-Man #50, the "Spider-Man No More" issue. I read somewhere that one of these, in mint condition mind you, once sold at auction for in excess of $600,000. Even one in good or very good condition, we are talking $100+. Not that I am trying to put a monetary value on the comics, for I do not like that aspect of collecting, I am just trying to say that I probably could not afford to buy one of these today, unless it is in not so great condition. Now, in his post, Bob talks about owning several of the comics from his birth month. I, on the other hand, do not own 94,000 some comic books (I did say he was in the Guinness Book of World Records), and have not been collecting non-stop since I was 8, so I don't actually own any of the issues in the above slew of July '67 titles. The oldest comic book I own is Lois Lane #105, from October of 1970. I am sure I will add older comics to my collection (the bulk of my back issue pile-up, hail from the late 1970's through the 1990's) but for now, none of these are mine. Perhaps I will pick and choose a more reasonably priced issue from the above pictured batch, and track down a copy of it for my collection. Somehow, that one issue will make me feel better about not having a big a collection as some people.

And speaking of old issues I do not own. The first comic book I ever remember reading and getting into (there were no doubt, many a Disney of Gold Key comic before this) was X-Men #98, waaaay back when I was but a lad of eight. I found this issue on a spinner rack in a local grocery store, while shopping with my mother. Yeah, this was back in a day where you could still find comic books on spinner racks in local grocery stores. This was the comic that got me started in my love of the comic book, and my love of the superhero. If one were so inclined, one could read about this love at this post. As for the comic book itself, I read the crap out of that thing. I remember the cover coming off at some point. Yeah, I did not know how to treat my comics back then. I am not sure whatever happened to that copy of X-Men #98. Back in the 1990's, I sold a bunch of my comics, but that one was gone long before that. Who knows? Maybe I will replace it someday. I could probably get a relatively good copy for around $50 or so. Probably. Then again, perhaps there is some mystery benefactor who will secretly buy me a copy. Yeah, okay. I digress.

To close this birthday comic post out, let me switch up topics, and talk about a brand new collection. You see, comic books are not the only thing I collect. I happen to have close to 2500 Pez dispensers at home. Yeah, that's right. The little missus and I have even attended several Pez conventions. So there. I also collect old timey movie star cards, some from as far back as 1919 even. There are also several binders full of business cards on my shelves. I used to collect TV toys, a collection that includes, among other items, a pair of Fonz tights, a Welcome Back Kotter chalkboard, and a Love Boat toothpick holder (yeah, that's right), but I had so many different collections, I had to cut some of them off, so now most of these toys sit in bins in my attic. My Welcome Back Kotter trash can does still sit next to my desk though. There also happen to be a bunch of shot glasses, snow globes, and other various cheezy souvenirs hanging out on a shelf at home. So yeah, I have other collections, though it is the Pez and the comic books that reign supreme. And now, I have a brand new collection. Well, it's kind of related to the comic collection, but it is still a new wing of said collection.

Just the other day, while at my LCS (local comic shop, for those not in the know) I picked up an Eaglemoss DC Comics figurine of Buddy Baker, aka Animal Man. But what are these Eaglemoss figurines of which you speak? Glad ya asked. Eaglemoss is a UK company that has released many a superhero and fantasy figurine. These are lead figurines, hand-painted, and are mostly 4 inches or so, but there are larger ones like The Hulk, and then even larger ones, such as Galactus or The Watcher. These were put out over the past decade or so, released fortnightly, with an accompanying magazine. There are over 250 Marvel figurines and 150+ DC ones. Due to the relatively cheap prices of these (granted, some of the limited edition figurines are a bit pricey), and how cool looking they are (check out my Animal Man above), this is a fun collection to get started. I'm sure it will take me a long time to get 'em all, but that is the fun of collecting. I hope to add a couple more to my budding figurine collection soon. I have my eye on some on e-bay as we speak. Anyhoo, that is my new collection news. Wish me luck, or whatever one might wish someone when embarking on a new collection quest.

And now, before I sign off, and tell ya'll that I will be seeing you around the web, I would like to once again make mention of Bob Bretall, and his influence on this post. Well, at least the first half, before I started rambling on about my new Animal Man figurine. Bob is not only a Guinness Record Holder (check out the hoopla right here) but also the most knowledgeable person I know, when it comes to the subject of comic book history. As far as his record shattering collection goes, I hope to one day have even a fraction of what this guy has. Seriously, check out all the great photos of his collection over at his website. Great stuff. I have recently been a bit lackadaisical in my comic book reviewing duties at Bob's site (working on my book has been taking up a lot of my time) but hope to get back to a ready stream of reviews very very soon. Right now though, I am going to head over to e-bay, to see if there are any reasonably priced copies of those July 1967 comic books. That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

My 2014 Early Bird Oscar Nomination Predictions

Hello my faithful readers and true believes, and welcome to that annual event of mine, called the Early Bird Oscar Predictions, or Oscar Nomination Predictions, to be a bit more concise and/or accurate. For those of you in the know, please allow a quick bit of explanatory boiler plate stuff for those not in the know. You see, every year in January, I come up with my Oscar predictions, those films, actors, writers, and directors, who I think will be getting nominated for Oscar gold. I usually post these the day or evening before the nominations are announced, and then follow that up with my final for-the-gold Oscar predictions, the night before the blessed event. But hey, that's not what we're doing here, now is it? Today is the day for rather early predictions, early bird, if you will. Usually, I do these early bird, earlier, like sometime during July, one year I even had the cahones to do them in April, but this year, September it be.

Now please remember, that a few of the films mentioned here may end up not opening by the end of the year, and therefore not being eligible. There are always a few to which this happens. Mostly though, these are the films and performers and such, that will be in the running. Granted, some may end up being not that much by year's end, but hey, I actually usually do relatively well at these early birds, so here we go. Enjoy. Or don't. What do I care? Ha, I kid. Now let's get on with this, those in the know have been waiting very patiently for us to finally get started. And take note that within each category, I have listed my predictions in order from most likely to least. Have at it! Oh, and by way of an editors note, the above Inherent Vice poster is not the official one, but it damn well should be!!

Best Picture
1. Foxcatcher
2. Inherent Vice
3. Birdman
4. Boyhood
5. Gone Girl
6. The Theory of Everything
7. Unbroken
8. The Imitation Game
9. Into the Woods
10. Fury

Spoilers: The Grand Budapest Hotel and/or Interstellar
Wild Card: Rosewater

The tricky thing with BP is that the amount of nominees can run anywhere from five to ten. So, with that being the case, I have predicted ten. Ya know, just in case. Then again, the last three years have seen a nine nominees each, so who knows.Now since this is so early, none of these are real shoo-ins, or anything like that. Most of the other folks who do these kinds of predictions (and there are a bunch of us) keep saying the same five films over and over. Foxcatcher, Birdman, Boyhood, Gone Girl, and The Theory of Everything. First off, I love that Boyhood is getting so much love and buzz. Secondly, even though it has no real buzz (yet!!), I had to throw Paul Thomas Anderson's Inherent Vice into the fray. Trust me, it will get the required buzz once it opens in December. Though this one may be a bit too weird for Oscar's tastes. We'll see. Meanwhile, both Unbroken, directed by Angelina Jolie and written by the Coen Brothers, and The Imitation Game, should be smart bets as well, though both could have backlash once they open. Into the Woods and Fury are both rather debatable. Our two spoilers could also be in play, but who knows. As for the wild card...would love to see that, but who the Hell am I kidding? Other possibilities include Selma, Mr. Turner, A Most Violent Year, Big Eyes, Wild, and, in a perfect world, Love is Strange.

Best Director
1. Bennett Miller for Foxcatcher
2. Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu for Birdman
3. Richard Linklater for Boyhood
4. Paul Thomas Anderson for Inherent Vice
5. Angelina Jolie for Unbroken

Sixth Man Award: David Fincher for Gone Girl

Spoiler: Chris Nolan for Interstellar, Mike Leigh for Mr. Turner, or Wes Anderson for Grand Budapest
Wild Card: Jon Stewart for Rosewater

I'm not sure about the order here, as any one of these six directors (yeah, six) could be considered the frontrunner at some point. Jolie is probably the one wild card in the top five, and theoretically should trade places with Fincher, but I gots me a feeling. And yes, Linklater could get his first Best Director nod. Leigh or Wes Anderson could spoil Jolie or even Linklater's chances though. And then there's Jon Stewart. Will people take the comic seriously? One could maybe see either Rob Marshall for Into the Woods or James Marsh for The Theory of Everything, sneak in here as well.

Best Actor
1. Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything
2. Michael Keaton in Birdman
3. Steve Carrell in Foxcatcher
4. Joaquin Phoenix in Inherent Vice
5. Ralph Fiennes in The Grand Budapest Hotel

Spoiler: Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game
Wild Card: Bill Murray in St. Vincent
In a Perfect World: Ellar Coltrane in Boyhood

Between Redmayne playing Steven Hawking, Keaton making one hell of a comeback, and Carrell going deep and dramatic, this one is still quite up in the air as well. Fiennes may be a stretch, and it would make more sense to replace him with current golden boy, Cumberbatch, but that ain't happenin'...yet. Other possibilities include David Oyelowo as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in Selma, Timothy Spall in Mr. Turner, and Gael Garcia Bernal in Rosewater. In a perfect world we might even see Ellar Coltrane for his 12 year long performance in Boyhood. There is also Alfred Molina and John Lithgow as potentials for Love is Strange, but gay themed films being what they are in Hollywood, one of these two leads may end up going supporting, and that is usually the bottom (think Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain) so Lithgow may end up in a different category. And let's not forget that Michael Fassbender is playing Macbeth this year...if the film is ready in time.

Best Actress
1. Amy Adams in Big Eyes
2. Reese Witherspoon in Wild
3. Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl
4. Felicity Jones in The Theory of Everything
5. Shailene Woodley in The Fault in Our Stars

Spoiler: Michelle Williams in Suite Francaise
Wild Card: Angelina Jolie in Maleficent

Eventually they are going to give the Oscar to Amy Adams, right? If they don't soon (this would be her sixth nomination) they may never do it. Then again, it is a Tim Burton film, and his films are never big with Oscar. I think Shailene Woodley might surprise here, unless Michelle Williams' small arthouse pic hits it big with critics over awards season. There is also the possibility of Julianne Moore in Map to the Stars, and maybe even Meryl Streep, unless her Into the Woods witch goes supporting, which is more likely. Then there is Jessica Chastain, who once again, seems to be in every film out later this year, but her chances are better in supporting (see below). There are also a bunch of actresses (Cate Blanchett, Kate Winslet, Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard, Carey Mulligan, Charlize Theron, Jennifer Lawrence, Mia Wasikowska) whose chances depend on their respective films opening in time. Oh, and while Angelina Jolie may be getting a Best Director nod for Unbroken, her Disney character may get a nod for acting. Okay, probably not.

Best Supporting Actor
1. Edward Norton in Birdman
2. Mark Ruffalo in Foxcatcher
3. J.K. Simmons in Whiplash
4. Tom Wilkinson in Selma
5. Channing Tatum in Foxcatcher

Sixth Man Award: Robert Duvall in The Judge

Spoilers: Josh Brolin in Inherent Vice and/or Christoph Waltz in Big Eyes
Wild Cards: Albert Brooks in A Most Violent Year or Ethan Hawke in Boyhood

It looks like this one might be a six or seven man race. And yes, you read that right, I have Channing Tatum as a predicted Oscar nominee. So there! Then again, his co-star Ruffalo may end up splitting the votes with Tatum, or may end up taking all of them from him. As for Waltz, he seems to only get nominated (and wins) when he is directed by Tarantino, so who knows if he can get the traction here. There is also the possibility of Benico del Toro in Inherent Vice and Johnny Depp in Into the Woods.

Supporting Actress
1. Jessica Chastain in A Most Violent Year
2. Patricia Arquette in Boyhood
3. Emma Stone in Birdman
4. Emily Blunt in Into the Woods
5. Katherine Waterston in Inherent Vice

Spoilers: Anna Kendrick and/or Meryl Streep in Into the Woods
Wild Card: Marisa Tomei in Love is Strange

Yup, Jessica Chastain. I told ya. As for Miss Arquette, she is probably the best bet for an acting nod from Linklater's brilliant magnum opus. And Blunt is probably the best bet for an acting nod from Into the Woods, even moreso than La Streep. We could also maybe see Keira Knightley in The Imitation Game or Carmen Ejogo in Selma. and Tomei is probably a better bet than mere wild card status. We'll see.

Original Screenplay
1. Birdman
2. Boyhood
3. The Grand Budapest Hotel
4. Mr. Turner
5. A Most Violent Year

Other Possibilities: Selma, Big Eyes, St. Vincent, Begin Again, Love is Strange, Interstellar

Adapted Screenplay
1. Gone Girl
2. Inherent Vice
3. Foxcatcher
4. Unbroken
5. The Imitation Game

Other Possibilities: Into the Woods, The Theory of Everything, The Boxtrolls, Wild, Rosewater

Nominations will be announced on Jan. 15, 2015. My final predictions will be posted the evening prior.

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Let's Not Let the Terrorists Win: A Brief Patriot Day Post

Today is the anniversary of a day that will live in infamy. A Pearl Harbor for the Millennial set. Of course, we had to take these tragic events, and create a brand new patriotic holiday out of them. So, with that being the case...Happy Patriot Day. To celebrate the terrorists not winning, or whatever rah rah rhetoric one wishes to espouse on such a day, here is a picture of Captain America punching Hitler in the face. Enjoy.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Heavenly Body of the Week: Poor Little Pluto

"Members of the Society for the Preservation of Pluto as a Planet are dedicated to the proposition that Pluto has been and always should be considered a planet." - From the society's mission statement (and I agree!)

When I went to school, we learned about all nine planets in our solar system. That's right kids...nine! Discovered back in 1930, Pluto was named the ninth planet in our little gaggle of a solar system, and for teh next 76 years, it stayed that way. Then came 2006, and the demotion of Pluto to dwarf planet status, and even a reclassification, to hitherto be known as a Plutoid. Bullshit!! That's right, I call bullshit, people!!In my heart of hearts (the one hidden behind the main one) I now, and forever consider Pluto to be the ninth planet, a full-fledged planet mind you, not some dwarfish outcast. It's just like when those other eight reindeer wouldn't let poor Rudolph play in any of their reindeer games. Bastards!! Let Pluto play, ya big bullies!!

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.

Monday, September 8, 2014

The Two Faces of Swedish/US Hybrid, Welcome to Sweden

Welcome to Sweden is a strange horse. One might even say the sitcom is a bit on the bipolar side. The show was originally made for Swedish television, by an American writer/actor, who wanted to tell the real life story of how he left New York to follow his girlfriend to her homeland of Sweden. After its success there, NBC decided to buy the show and air the ten episode first season here in the states. The only problem is that the show is half in Swedish and half in English, and therefore is subtitled on NBC. Yeah, just what American audiences like, reading their televised entertainment. Not to sound too snobbish or haughty or whatever, but when it comes to subtitles, the typical US TV or movie watcher isn't what one would call, um...let's say enthusiastic. Face it, that is the sad sad truth of it all. Therefore, Welcome to Sweden, and its bilingual ways may have a rather hard time finding an audience on NBC. Most Swedes speak English, so it is not a problem on Swedish television. The show aired as a Summer replacement series on the Peacock Network, and did about as well in the ratings as one would expect a little known, little advertised, semi-subtitled sitcom to do. Nonetheless, NBC being the place where quality programming can still find a friend, even without big ratings (think Parks and Rec, and at least for a time, Community), the network has given the show a second season, to air probably in early 2015, after first airing on TV4 in Sweden. Hooray for integrity in network broadcasting. It happens rarely, but it does happen.

As for the show itself, as I said before, it could be considered rather bipolar in its existence. Half Swedish, half American, starring both American and Swedish actors, and spoken in both languages, the show already has the whole two-faced thing going, before you even get to the style and storyline, which also can be seen as two-sided. Much of the comedy we find in these ten episodes is on the sardonic, sometimes satiric side of the so-called spectrum, but at the same time, we are handed a sentimental love story as well. Granted, these sentimental moments may get a bit drippy in their sentiment, but the aforementioned sardonic nature of the show, thankfully keeps us afloat. And all this is done by comic Greg Poehler. Oh, did I forget to mention that the show is the brainchild of Amy Poehler's baby brother? Yeah, perhaps such a connection did help in NBC's decision to pick up the show from TV4, but Poehler, Greg, not Amy, has done a good enough job with the show, to wipe away, at least part of the notion of nepotism. still though, let's be realistic, being Amy Poehler's baby brother could not have hurt any. And get this, guess who has guest starred on the show? Yup, one Miss Amy Poehler. Again, I do not mean to demean the show by saying it does not deserve praise in its own right - because it does.

Poehler, who will someday play Greg Kinnear's brother in a movie, is a talented writer, and once one gets past the drippy over-sentimentality of his love story (which granted, usually only rears its ugly head during each episodes final tag), it is a quite smartly written sitcom, indeed. The story follows Poehler's on screen doppelganger, Bruce Evans, as he quits his cushy gig as an accountant to the stars in New York, and follows his girlfriend Emma, played by Josephine Bornebusch (a regular on Sweden's version of Saturday Night Live), back to her Scandinavian homeland. Most of the comedy revolves around Bruce's inability to fit into Swedish life. This fish-out-of-water premise may get tiring after awhile, but so far, so good. And judging from how season one finishes, it looks as if the second season may be doing less of this, and possibly more on the comedy of relationships themselves. The show also features the Academy Award nominated Lena Olin as Emma's passive aggressive mother, and Swedish writer/director/actor, Claas Mansson, as her sometimes clueless papa. We also get Emma's slacker brother (Christopher Wagelin) and her American pop culture obsessed uncle (Per Svensson).

The most intriguing part of the show is the meta referencing and coinciding guest stars. Poehler's big sis has appeared in both the first episode and the season finale, playing an over-the-top version of herself. The show has also seen Gene Simmons as himself, Swedish-American actress Malin Akerman (the titular Trophy Wife from last season's unfairly canceled series of the same name), Patrick Duffy and Illeana Douglas as Bruce's visiting parents, Will Ferell as an ex-client (Ferrell too is married to a Swedish woman), and even some members of ABBA. The best guest gig though, belongs to Aubrey Plaza, playing a rather sociopathic version of herself, who stalks Bruce at the bequest of pal Poehler, who wants him back as her accountant. Plaza steals the show whenever she is on screen. Sure, Welcome to Sweden may not be quite up to the par of those other aforementioned NBC comedies Community and Parks & Rec, but the show still has a lot of laughs, and I am looking forward to season two coming, whenever that may be. Hopefully American audiences will pick up on it as well, even if they may have to "read" half of what is going on. As they say in Sweden, Hejda. That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.

Friday, September 5, 2014

People Who Need To Be Punched In The Face - Vol. 1

Not that I am advocating violence or anything like that (well, okay, I guess I kind of am) but there are just some people in this world who need to be punched in the face. Simple as that. It doesn't have to be me that punches them. There are women on this list, and I would not hit a woman, but if any other woman wishes to step up and do the punching, I am more than alright with that. As for the men on the list, I can always take care of that myself, but really, the invitation is open to anyone, so punch away. As for all you mamby-pamby pacifists, or those of you who think we should try to love everyone...well, you're probably on this list too. So there. Now here, in no particular order, are the people I believe should be punched in the face. And as you can surely tell from the title of this post, this list is so long, and ever-growing, so more volumes are sure to come. Now get to punching. Oh, and as a disclaimer, if any of the people on the following list do get punched in the face, I take no responsibility. I mean really people, take responsibility for your own actions. Don't blame me because you are too weak willed to think for yourself. I only told you these people need to be punched in the face. You are the ones who went out and actually punched them in the face. So yeah, don't blame this guy. Disclaimer over, now on with the punching show.

People Who Need To Be Punched in the Face
(in no particular order)

Tim Gunn
Wolf Blitzer
Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas
will i. am of the Black Eyed Peas
The rest of the Black Eyed Peas
Ann Coulter (obviously)
People who call apes, monkeys
Larry the Cable Guy
People who think Larry the Cable Guy is funny
 Joe the Plumber (remember him?)
Kevin Sorbo
Henry Rollins
Lori from The Walking Dead
Adam Levine
Tom Brady
People who say irregardless
Cee Lo Green
Kanye West & Kim Kardashian (aka, Kimye)
Anyone who calls them Kimye
The person who came up with the term, Appeteasers
Alex Rodriguez
Fans of Maroon 5
Rufus Dangerman
 Toby Keith
Robin Thicke
Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham
Jeff Dunham's ventriloquist dummies
Pretty much anyone who is into ventriloquism
Joel Osteen
Paul Ryan
Every member of the Tea Party
Anyone who hates The Princess Bride
Elisabeth Hasselback
The inventor of salt & vinegar potato chips
The Honey Badger
John Updike
Meg Griffen
Kirk Cameron
Victoria Jackson
Michelle Bachman (a no-brainer, indeed)
Larry Fortensky
Bob McKenzie, but not Doug
Dennis Rodman
Eddie Van Halen
50 Cent
Those Duck Dynasty douche-bags
Lena Dunham
Gene Simmons
People who wear flip-flops outside of the beach, pool, or locker room
Dustin Pedroia
Taylor Swift
Stand Your Ground supporters
Stephen Baldwin
Skeet Ulrich
Suze Orman
The tourist guy in those old Hawaiian Punch ads (see pic above)
The Baha Men
Marcia Brady
Bradley Cooper
Leif Garrett
The Houston Astros
Woodward, but not Bernstein
People who use the terms man cave, bromance, or manscape
Andy Dick
Baseball umpire, Jim Joyce
Chick-fil-A CEO, Dan T. Cathy
Fannie Flagg
Film "director" McG
Paula Poundstone
Arthur Spooner
Michael Vick
Guy Fieri
Mark Vedder
Meeno Peluce
People who invite me to play Farmville
Ayn Rand fans
Chriss Angel
The Zoom Kids
Ted Mosby
People who say literally when they mean figuratively
Coldplay and/or Train
Mary Lou Retton
Perez Hilton
Nicki Minaj
Sarah Palin (of course)
People who do not tip, or those who tip cheaply
My old boss (he knows who he is)
Kate Gosselin
Al B. Sure
Fans of Reo Speedwagon
Lena Dunham
 Richard Elfman
Cathy Guisewite
Michael Scott
Shawn Mutchler (added at Shawn's request)
Larry from Three's Company
The Crash Test Dummies
The Pennsylvania Bar Association
Parents who allow their children to act like animals in a restaurant
Those aforementioned mamby-pamby pacifists
People who do not like Marty Esworthy
Marty Esworthy
That goody-two-shoes Superman
People who make lists of people they want to punch in the face
Lena Dunham

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.