Thursday, September 14, 2017

People Who Need to be Punched in the Face, Part Eleven

So, hey there faithful readers and true believers! I'm back! Yeah, after waaaay too long (my last post was nearly three months ago) and just a dry writing/blogging spell in general (this is just my tenth post of 2017), this boy is back on fire. And to get things kickin' again, what better way than making a list of people whom should be punched in the face. That's right! Let's punch a buncha people in the face! Oh, and for "insurance" reasons, please take note that I am not saying you should necessarily go out and punch any of the people on this list, just that certain people may need a good face punching now and again. And if you do go out and face punch any of the people on said list, please make sure the women are punched only by other women. I mean, come on, I am still a gentleman after all. But hey, do what ya'll want. Anyhoo, here's that aforementioned list everyone was all giddy about earlier.

Donald Drumpf, aka that Cheeto-Face Shit Gibbon
Anyone who voted for said Shit Gibbon
(the above were way too obvious)
...and now on with the list...
Lena Dunham
Tommy Hilfiger
Lex Luthor
The NFL
Ted Cruz
Betsy Devos
Seth MacFarlane
Pennywise the Clown
Guys named Buster
Rob Liefeld
Tim Allen
Tim Allen Fans
Negan
Pattymac
Brann Stark
Lena Dunham
Pumpkin Spice Lovers
Right Wing Bloggers
People who still watch MTV
The Ghost of Johnny Paycheck
Everyone in those J.G. Wentworth Commercials
People who prefer August to October
Richard Spencer (again)
Susan Sarandon
Cersei Lannister
Coldplay Fans
Coldplay
James Woods
Those Skynet Bastards
The Ghost of Thomas Kinkade
People who laugh at Everybody Loves Raymond
Carl Burnett (I never did like that kid)
The Boston Red Sox
Vince Vaughn
Tom Selleck
Dennis Miller
Janine Turner
Scott Baio
Kevin Sorbo
Meg Griffin
Lena Dunham
That Brad Douche
Waffle House Regulars
Garrett Linebaugh
Tom Brady (of course)
Butterhead Jones
Baron Zemo
The Drake
Sauron
Danzig
The Dutch
The Little Mermaid
Chicken Little
Rich Little
Little Richard
Natty Bumpo
Dr. Frank Burns
Little Bitches
Dog Haters
Flat Earthers
Lucy Van Pelt
That Bastard Aaron Kraybill
(Just seeing if you're paying attention Kraybill)
Whoever was responsible for downgrading Pluto
The "All Lives Matter" Crowd
People who make stoopid lists
People who read stoopid lists
People who spell stupid, stoopid
Bigfoot Non-Believers
Seven O'Clock
Itchy AND Scratchy
Lazy Muthahfuckers
No, seriously, Aaron Kraybill
People who don't like sandwiches
Mamby Pambies & Wishy Washies
Q (you know...that guy from Star Trek)
Dennis Dunphy, aka Demolition Man
Milton the Toaster
Minnie the Moocher
Mickey the Mouse
Most White People
The Pepsi Generation
Ugly Kid Joe
Billy Joel
Centrists
Mel Sharples
Lena Dunham
and
(as always)
Nazis!

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.


Wednesday, June 14, 2017

The 10 Coolest Famous People w/ First Names that are the Same as the Last Names of the US Presidents

Yeah, that's right! It's a convoluted title, but I'm sure ya'll get the idea. Famous people whose first names are the same as the last names of some of our esteemed (and some not so esteemed) former US Presidents. I say former, because there are not many famous people with the first name of Trump (thankfully for them). For that matter, one could probably exclude such Presidents as Eisenhower, McKinley, Van Buren, or Obama, as well. I suppose Adams is out due to that last letter. But what about all those Washingtons, Jeffersons, Roosevelts, and Jacksons out there? Yeah, they may just make the list. And sorry Taylor Swift, but you just aren't cool enough to make the list. Same goes for you Jefferson D'Arcy. All the Married With Children fans in the audience know of whom I speak. And sorry, but there is no love for you, Arthur Treacher. A fine actor indeed, and I loved your namesake fish & chips, but you too, are a no go. And alas, poor Jefferson Airplane, I knew them, Horatio, but they are a band, and not a person, so away with them. But enough of these no shows, howzabout we get to the ten who did make the list. Oh, and with one special mention as well.

And awaaaaaaay we go...

Special Mention: Carter Liotta

Now since this list is (conveniently) meant to look at the famous names of the title, I will relegate my good friend to the special mention slot. Carter Liotta, probably not named after Jimmy Carter, is a doctor, pilot, filmmaker, world traveler, and self-proclaimed man of leisure. Is there anything this guy can't do? Well, hold his liquor, I suppose is one thing (which may be able to be seen in the above pic), but let's not dwell on the so-called negative. Carter Liotta may not have been named after our 39th POTUS (though he may still enjoy some peanuts now and then), but his first name gets him a very special mention here.

10. Ford Prefect
When the world is destroyed, to put in an intergalactic bypass in its place no less, you could not have a better BFF than Ford Prefect. At least for Arthur Dent, the one human Ford saves before the aforementioned demolition. An alien journalist (a native Betelgeusian, to be more precise on his alien origins) and field researcher for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ford's actual given name is only pronounceable in an obscure Betelgeusian dialect, but for the purpose of our little ole list here, we are going with his adopted Earth name, which incidentally was created well before Gerry Ford ascended to the presidential throne. Above are two of his filmic portrayals. And please remember, always bring your towel.

9. Washington Irving
Possibly named after our first president (he was born at a time when George Washington, though not yet president, was a national hero), Washington Irving came to international fame with the 1819-1820 serial, The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent.. You haven't heard of it? Really? Well, two of the stories from this collection are Rip Van Winkle and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Oh, now you know of what I speak. Irving also wrote a multi-volume biography on his possible namesake. So yeah, Washington wrote about Washington.

8. Pierce Hawthorne
Technically, Chevy Chase's Community character's first name is Pierceinald (that's right, bitches), but to keep the illusion going here, we are going by his nickname of Pierce. Granted, this one is named after one of the more obscure presidents (Franklin Pierce was our 14th Commander-in-Chief, for those lacking in American history knowledge), but he is a character on one of my favourite shows of recent times, so obscure reference or not (and Community likes the obscure references), real first name or not, Pierce Hawthorne, late heir to the Hawthorne moist towelette fortune, is right here at numero ocho!

7. Wilson Pickett

In the Midnight Hour. Land of 1,000 Dances. Mustang 'Freakin'' Sally. These are just a few of the songs that Wilson Pickett made famous back in the day. Wilson Pickett is a legend of music history. Born and raised in Detroit (as so many music legends have been) Pickett was a member of the famed Stax Records crew, back in the mid 1960's, and is now a member (and rightfully so!!) of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Granted, Pickett probably wasn't named after Woodrow Wilson, but they were both integral in helping to change and modernize their chosen professions.

6. Roosevelt "Rosey" Grier

 Rosey (and yes, his real first name is Roosevelt, the last name of not one, but two presidents) is probably best known for his NFL career. A New York Giant for a while, before becoming one of the LA Rams "Fearsome Foursome," Grier retired from pro ball in 1966. Rosey would later write several books' including Rosey Grier's Needlepoint for Men. Yeah, I wouldn't mock the guy for it, either. Nowadays he is a Christian minister, helping inner city youth. What a lot of people probably do not know, is his hand in the world of a wouldbe president. As a bodyguard, Rosey could not stop the assassination of Bobby Kennedy (who would have become president over Nixon!) but he did manage to subdue the assassin. You go Roosevelt. Oh, and when you get the chance, check out the 1972 film, The Thing With Two Heads. You will not be disappointed. Well, you might be disappointed, but you'll still have a good time at it.

5. Truman Capote

A famously eccentric author, Truman Capote (not named after Harry S. Truman, our 33rd president) was known later in life as an amusing talking head, and prolific talk show celebrity (he often told elaborate stories of his past celebrity encounters, such as his friendship with Garbo and a sexual dalliance with Errol Flynn, that were just not true), but back in the day, he wrote some pretty great books too. His most famous is Breakfast at Tiffany's. Granted, Hollywood vastly altered the book for their movie version (in early 1960's America, Hollywood wasn't ready to make a big mainstream film about a gay man and his fag hag) and Capote hate hate hated the adaptation. He was also pretty well known for his true crime book, In Cold Blood, as well as being the model for Harper Lee's character, Dill, in her To Kill A Mockingbird. Lee and Capote were friends their entire lives, and she even aided him on the research for In Cold Blood.

4. Grant Morrison

 One of only two non-Americans on this (kinda) American list (especially funny, since his name is that of US Grant), the Scottish born Grant Morrison, was a member of the so-called British invasion in the comic book industry back in the 1980's. Morrison, who always puts a more philosophical bent on his superhero tales, has written everyone from Batman to The Doom Patrol, from Animal Man to the JLA, from The Fantastic Four to the New X-Men. And he didn't just write these characters, he gave them all new life, and is often thought of as the quintessential writer of several of these characters (Animal Man and Doom Patrol, especially). He also wrote, along with artist Frank Quitely (whose artistic interpretation of Morrison can be seen above), my all-time favourite Superman tale, All-Star Superman. He is currently turning DC's Multiverse on its proverbial head with his Multiversity mini-series.

3. Jackson Pollock

Technically, Jackson Pollack's first name was Paul, but his nom de plume (his middle name was Jackson) is how everyone knows him, so it is Jackson we are going with. And Andy Jackson has always been my favourite historical president. Pollock is known, of course, as one of the greatest artists of modern times. He died quite early (at 44, due to an alcohol-related car accident) but before that, his so-called action paintings, helped him to become one of the most important figures in my favourite artistic movement, Abstract Expressionism. His paintings, often criticized in his day, as much as they were praised, are brilliant abstract pieces of art, splattered with a crazed fury of passion. Yeah, that's right.

2. Tyler Durden

 Nobody ever remembers poor John Tyler (he was our 10th commander-in-chief, becoming president after William Henry Harrison died, a month into his own presidency) but most people in today's world know who Tyler Durden is. Played by Brad Pitt (sorta) in the David Fincher film, Fight Club, Tyler Durden is one of the most iconic film characters of modern cinema. Yeah, I think there might have been a book too, but I can never spell the author's name so...just kidding, it was Chuck Palahniuk. But hey, the firs rule of Fight Club is that we don't talk about Fight Club, so I'll shut up about Tyler Durden now, and move on to our numero uno pick.

1. Harrison Ford

First off, he has both a first AND a last name that matches a president. Technically three presidents, since there were two Harrisons (William Henry and his grandson Benjy) to go along with Gerry Ford. Secondly, and more importantly, he is Harrison Ford. He is Han Solo. He is Indiana Jones. He is Captain of the Millennium Falcon, and did the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, and as everyone knows, parsecs are a unit of distance not time, so that in turn makes him a freakin' time traveler. Yeah, that's right. Do the freakin' math people. Not only was Han Solo the man who shot first, he was also a time traveler. And that is who Harrison Ford is. He is Han and he is Indy too. He is BFF's with a Wookiee. In his spare time, he flies helicopters on fire rescue missions. Yeah, that is Harrison Ford. End of story. He is number one. Huzzah!

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

The Best Damn TV Show of 2017 or: How David Lynch is Still One of the Best Damn Filmmakers Working Today

I first fell in love with the cinema of David Lynch at the tender age of nineteen. It was the Fall of 1986, and this was when I first saw that sexy beast of a film called Blue Velvet. Over the previous year or two, thanks to the booming new home video market, and the likes of Kurosawa, Fellini, Chaplin, Bergman, and other art films and filmmakers falling into my lap, I had transitioned from casual moviegoer to budding cinephile. Lynch and his Blue Velvet, which I was lucky enough to get to see in a darkened theatre, on the big screen, made that budding cinephile explode with cinema-loving glee. Granted, it was a somewhat uncomfortable cinema-loving glee, as that is the emotion Lynch most aspires to, but glee nonetheless.

Lo these past thirty some years since, this budding film freak has transformed into a downright expert on the history and technique of cinema. As far as my love of Lynch goes, it has more than merely deepened over the decades. Going back and discovering Eraserhead and The Elephant Man and the criminally undervalued Dune. I was working as a projectionist in a now long defunct local movie theatre, in 1990, when Lynch's brilliant batshitcrazy Wild at Heart came out. I think I watched that film at least a dozen times over its two week run. I remember also getting in an argument with the local newspaper's film critic (back when local papers still had film critics) about the film. She hated it!? Sacre bleu! Anyhoo, next came ABC's Twin Peaks, and Lynch went to a whole other level of batshitcrazy brilliance.

With Twin Peaks being an episodic television series, Lynch was able to go deeper and further down his own perverse rabbit hole. Sure, network television may have limited some of the more openly perverse things in said rabbit hole, but the long form format of an entire season (or two) of storytelling, allowed for a wider and deeper swath of good old fashioned Lynchian melodrama. To this day, even with the present being a truly golden age in TV making, I would still list Twin Peaks as one of the best shows to ever appear on the small screen. And now, after 25 years, a big screen prequel to Twin Peaks (Fire Walk With Me), and several movies made in the meantime (17 years in, Mulholland Dr. is still the best film of this century so far), and with the majority of the original cast back (where have you gone Lara Flynn Boyle?), Lynch brings his Twin Peaks back to episodic television.

Now on Showtime (as well as Hulu and Amazon), Twin Peaks: The Return, picks up the aforementioned batshitcrazy Lynchian nightmare narrative, right where we left it so many years ago. Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) is stuck in the Black Lodge, while his doppelganger (also MacLachlan, in long hair and extra crispy tanned skin), possessed by the ghost of Bob, is out causing trouble in the so-called real world. It is Cooper's redemption, and his way back to the real world, that is the crux of the new series. And MacLachlan is just the tip of the iceberg, as most of the cast has returned, from Sheryl Lee as Laura Palmer to Russ Tamblyn as the mysterious Doc Jacoby, doing strange things in the woods. We even get to briefly see Catherine Coulson as Margaret, The Log Lady, who filmed her scenes in the weeks leading up to her death back in 2015 (leave it to Lynch to bring the dead back to life). We also get a slew of newcomers to the show, including Naomi Watts, Michael Cera, Jim Belushi, and Laura Dern. Even Lauren Tewes, aka Julie McCoy of Love Boat fame, is set to appear at some point.

I gotta tell ya, everything about this new series (or is it season three?), from the episode one opening (I truly got goosebumps when that theme music first clicked on) through to the full four episodes aired so far, says it is every bit as good, and every bit as uncomfortably Lynchian, as the original. Everything from the acting (or one might say non-acting) to the super lo-fi special effects in and around the Black Lodge (these scenes, including the fascinating first ten minutes or so of episode three, some of the best minutes in television today, are like the most brilliant student film ever made, or at least since Lynch himself was a student filmmaker) to those uncomfortable weird silences and eerie music, Twin Peaks: The Return is easily the best show on what we call TV these days. It is surely going to take one hell of  a show in the second half of the year, to topple this one from atop my inevitable Best of 2017 list (I'm lookin' at you Stranger Things, season two).

To say I can't wait for the next episode (and all of the ones after that) is quite the understatement. I may just explode in the meantime, and this being a Lynchian mindset I am in right now, that may not just be figuratively speaking. But alas, the wait just makes the outcome all that much more satisfying. That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.


Monday, February 27, 2017

My Thoughts on Last Night's Oscars

If only the election ended in the same manner as last night's Oscars. For those of you not in the know (and if you are not in the know, why are you even reading this post about the Oscars?), at the end of last night's telecast, the wrong film was announced for Best Picture. Granted, the better film, at least in this critic's opinion, was deemed the winner, but what a blow for the poor schmucks who thought they won for about ninety seconds or so. Yup, after La La Land was named the winner, the stage manager and the folks from Price Waterhouse scrambled about, and finally revealed that Moonlight was the actual winner. A bunch of people are whining about La La Land losing (after winning Best Director, and five other awards, including a predictable but still idiotic choice for Best Actress), but what is done is done. The better film won. I just hope this puts to rest the ridiculous theory that Jack Palance said the wrong name when he gave the Oscar to Marisa Tomei.

And speaking of this fiasco. Everyone is blaming poor Warren Beatty. To his credit, when he opened the envelope and saw it read Emma Stone for La La Land (he was given the wrong envelope by the accounting firm), he questioned it and tried to get Faye Dunaway to look at it, but she thought he was just joking around, and proceeded to yelp out the name of the film on the card. But it was fixed rather quickly, and the producer of La La Land was gracious enough announce to everyone what had happened, and to hand over the Oscar to the folks from Moonlight. A rare class act in today's society. But hey, leave it to Bonnie & Clyde to cause a ruckus.

As for the rest of the show, we had the first Muslim person to win an acting award (congrats to Moonlight's deserving Mahershala Ali), the first black woman to win an Emmy, Tony, and Oscar for acting (way to go Viola Davis), and an undeserving bubble girl take home Best Actress (come on people, the weakest link of La La Land was Emma Stone!). We also got to see Casey Affleck take home Best Actor (which I predicted correctly). He already won almost every precursor award, until Denzel took home the SAG, an award that has translated to Oscar, every year since 2006. Many thought Denzel would take the award, especially with everyone yelping about alleged sexual assaults that were once thrown at Affleck, but which were never brought to fruition. There are still people today, whining all over the interwebs, about how they gave the Oscar to a sexual predator. Really? The whole innocent until proven guilty thing doesn't matter to ya'll? Oh well.

As for the rest of the rest of the show, Jimmy Kimmell was a great host, and his constant Matt Damon bashing was hilarious. He really missed an opportunity when the wrong film was announced, to blame that too, on Damon. We also got to see a surprised tourist group brought in for a comedy routine, only to be hijacked by one of the tourists (who is my new favourite person), who kept snapping pics, and even yanked Mahershala Ali's Oscar from his hands, and made the actor take  a selfie of the two of them with the Oscar. We also saw Kevin O'Connell, win his first Oscar, after losing twenty other times, and an Iranian director win Best Foreign Language Film, only to not be allowed in the country due to Trump's unconstitutional ban. All this, and candy falling from the sky too. Oh, and Ruth Negga in that red dress!

Oh, and my predictions. Oh well, I managed just 18 out of 24 (one off of my record), with my only major category miss, being (oddly enough) Best Picture. I do like that the Oscars can still surprise us a little bit, though. And, in the end, when all the confusion ended, we got ourselves the first film with a gay protagonist (Jon Voight's gay-for-pay male hustler in Midnight Cowboy, notwithstanding), to take home the Best Picture Oscar! Now that is progress! That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.


Sunday, February 26, 2017

My Final Oscar Predictions

So here we go kids! Time for my annual attempt at predicting the Academy Awards. My goal this time around, as it is every other time, is to finally break that 20 barrier. For those who do not know, there are 24 categories in which to predict. My record, which I have accomplished on multiple occasions, is 19. Here's to hopin' for that 20th correct prediction. But enough rambling. Let's get on with the show.

Best Picture
Will Win: La La Land
Could Win: Moonlight (but unlikely)
Surprise Win: Hidden Figures (but doubtful)
Should Win: Arrival

With it's record tying 14 nominations, La La Land is pretty much a lock to take home the top prize. Personally, I found the film to be fun, and a well done homage to the musical genre of the past (and deserving of several of the technical awards), but not exactly as hoopla worthy as everyone is making it out to be. My favourite of the nine nominees is Arrival, which has no shot at winning, followed by Moonlight, which has the slightest of slight chances to pull off an upset. But yeah, the money is on La La Land. I mean, it is a movie about the very place most of the Oscar voters live and work. But then again, we could get a surprise in Hidden Figures. Okay, probably not.

Best Director
Will Win: Damien Chazelle for La La Land
Could Win: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight
Should Win: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight

The Academy has been prone to splitting the top two awards in recent times, and such a thing could happen here, with the voters giving Jenkins Best Director, but the solid moola is still on Chazelle, as La La Land is set to take the night.

Best Actress
Will Win: Emma Stone in La La Land
Could Win: Isabelle Huppert in Elle
Should Win: Natalie Portman in Jackie

Stone has been the frontrunner from day one, but lately, Huppert has been gaining ground. Whether it is enough ground to make up for the predictable La La Land sweep, is another story. I am going with that it is not.

Best Actor
Will Win: Casey Affleck in Manchester by the Sea
Could Win: Denzel Washington in Fences
Should Win: Either Casey or Denzel work for me

This is easily the closest race in any of the acting categories. Yes, Affleck has won just about every award out there, but two things do go against him, The first being the allegations against him. Yes, the charges were dropped, but you know how people are. The second being that, after Affleck won almost every award, Denzel took home the SAG for Best Actor, an award that has translated into Oscar gold for a decade straight now. But still, I think Affleck is going to pull it off. Or maybe not. Or maybe. Or maybe not. Okay, it is probably going to be Denzel. I guess. Maybe. No! Let's go with Affleck! Yeah, Affleck!! Who the hell knows!? Aaaaaahhhhh!!! Casey at Bat!

Best Supporting Actress
Will Win: Viola Davis in Fences
Could Win: Viola Davis in Fences
Should Win: Viola Davis in Fences

Best Supporting Actor
Will Win: Mahershala Ali in Moonlight
Could Win: Mahershala Ali in Moonlight
Should Win: Mahershala Ali in Moonlight

Yeah, the supporting acting categories are pretty much as sewn up as anything could be. It would be a huge (simply YUUUUGE) shock to see anyone but Davis and Ali take home these prizes. Sure, someone like Dev Patel or even Jeff Bridges could surprise Ali, but that is very doubtful. As for Davis' competition, they probably have no need to write an acceptance speech.

Best Foreign Language Film
Will Win: The Salesman
Could Win: Toni Erdmann
Should Win: The Salesman

In any other year, a fun film like Toni Erdmann, would probably easily walk away with this award. But today, in Trump's America, where the director of this Iranian film is not allowed to enter the country to accept his Oscar, this is one of the (most likely) many political statements at the Oscars this year.

Best Original Screenplay
Will Win: Manchester by the Sea
Could Win: La La Land (one of the few categories where La La Land is not the frontrunner)
Should Win: The Lobster (I would love to see this happen)

Best Adapted Screenplay
Will Win: Moonlight
Could Win: Arrival
Should Win: Moonlight

La La Land will likely sweep this year, but in this category, I think Kenneth Lonergan is going to finally get his Oscar. As for Adapted, when the WGA gave out their awards, Arrival took home Adapted, while Moonlight won for Original. But here at The Oscars, they are both considered Adapted. Moonlight is actually based on a play, but the play was never produced, so their is a bit of confusion. Anyhoo, when put head to head, Moonlight will prevail.

Best Animated Feature
Will Win: Zootopia
Could Win: Kubo and the Two Strings
Should Win: The Red Turtle

Best Documentary Feature
Will Win: O.J.: Made in America
Could Win: 13th (maybe)
Should Win: 13th (definitely)

Best Cinematography
Will Win: La La Land
Could Win: Moonlight
Should Win: Moonlight

Best Production Design
Will Win: La La Land
Could Win: Arrival
Should Win: Hail, Caesar! ... though La La Land looks great too

Best Film Editing
Will Win: La La Land
Could Win: Hacksaw Ridge or Arrival
Should Win: La La Land

Best Costume Design
Will Win: Jackie
Could Win: La La Land
Should Win: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Best Makeup & Hairstyling
Will Win: Star Trek Beyond
Could Win: Suicide Squad or A Man Called Ove
Should Win: Star Trek  Beyond

Best Original Score
Will Win: La La Land (love this mesmerizing score)
Could Win: Jackie
Should Win: La La Land

Best Original Song
Will Win: City of Stars from La La Land
Could Win: Moana or Trolls (if La La Land's two nominees cancel each other out)
Should Win: Is their a sixth choice?

Best Sound Mixing
Will Win: Hacksaw Ridge
Could Win: Arrival (but unlikely)
Should Win: La La Land

Best Sound Editing
Will Win: Hacksaw Ridge
Could Win: La La Land (pretty much a two way race here)
Should Win: Arrival

Best Visual Effects
Will Win: The Jungle Book
Could Win: Doctor Strange (maybe)
Should Win: The Jungle Book (loved this film)

Best Animated Short
Will Win: Piper
Could Win: Pearl (maybe)
Should Win: Blind Vaysha

Best Live Action Short
Will Win: Ennemis Interieurs
Could Win: Sing or Timecode
Should Win: ?????

Best Documentary Short
Will Win: The White Helmets
Could Win:  Extremis or Watani
Should Win: ?????

So, I have La La Land winning 9 awards. That will not be enough for it to tie the record of 11, though if it pulls off Sound Editing and Costumes (which it damn well could), that record could be tied. A Screenplay win (less likely) could allow it to break that record. But I don't see that happening. Anyhoo, nine Oscars ain't nothin' to sneeze at. No film has won that many since The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, won that elusive eleven Oscars back in 2002. Now let's get on with the Oscars. I'll be back tomorrow with some comments on the results, and on how well I did in my predictions.

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.


Thursday, January 26, 2017

Who Should Win the Goddamn Oscar for Best Picture!!?

The Oscar nominations were announced a few days ago. This means, it's time for the All Things Kevyn Best Picture Oscar Poll. That's right gang! You get to pick your favourite from the nine nominees! Will your vote go the modern day musical La La Land, or maybe to the indie drama Moonlight? Howzabout the Mel Gibson war movie Hacksaw Ridge or the shoot-em up Hell or High Water!? Maybe you liked the play-to-screen Fences the best! Maybe Lion or Hidden Figures is your choice.. Maybe the melancholy melodrama Manchester by the Sea is more your speed. Maybe the sci-fi extravaganza Arrival? Whatever your choice, you can make it right here!

Of course, many of you may not have seen all the films yet, so there is time. The poll will run until Thursday, February 23rd, with the winners being officially announced the following day, and the Oscar ceremony that Sunday (with my predictions that Saturday). So, you can vote now or you can wait until you have seen more of the films. Whatever floats your boat. You may even be able to vote more than once (but let's just keep that our little secret, huh?). And remember, this poll isn't to predict the outcome (all signs point to La La Land on that one) but which film you like the most.

All one need do, is head on over to the top of the sidebar (right there, to your left) and get your vote on. For all you mobile users, you may have to flip over to the web version of the blog, to get that aforementioned vote on. Oh, and tell all your friends to get their vote on too. That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.


Tuesday, January 24, 2017

The Oscar Nominations (and My Predix Results)

Well, it was a pretty standard morning in Oscar Nomination Land...otherwise known as La La Land. Granted, the awards were announced in a different manner than normal (with awkward intros in a two-part pre-recorded video montage), but the results were still very predictable. Out of the 44 nominations I predicted (the Big 8 categories), I picked 39 correctly. That is an 89% success rate, which is about average for me. I picked all nine Best Picture nominees, as well as acing both Best Actor and Supporting Actress, while missing just one in each of the other categories.

As for the nominations themselves (it's not ALL about me), La La Land was the big winner (as expected by pretty much everyone) and garnered a record tying 14 nominations, placing it up there with All About Eve (a much better film) and Titanic (a much lesser film) for the most nominations ever. Hell, it even got a Costume Design nod, which contemporary films very rarely do. Needless to say, it is the frontrunner to win the top award come Oscar Night. The only real surprise (I think) was the Supporting Actor nod for Nocturnal Animals' Michael Shannon. Not that Shannon doesn't deserve the nod, he most certainly does. In fact, this is a film that deserved much more than this one lone nomination. But hey, even Shannon was not that much of a surprise. One could say Mel Gibson's Best Director nod for Hacksaw Ridge, or the exclusion of Amy Adams in the Best Actress category, even though Arrival was given eight other nominations, including Director and Best Picture even, were bigger surprises. 

Oh, and I joked around in my predictions about Deadpool sneaking in there, but alas, he did not. I did honestly expect at least a visual effects or sound editing nod tossed it's way, but that did not happen. What did happen was a big turnaround from last year's lily white Oscars, where not a single person of color was nominated in any major category. This year we have seven actors of color getting nods (two of whom I think will win their categories), a director of color, and three BP nominees about the African American experience in America. This is at least a step toward equality in Hollywood. A small step, but a step nonetheless.

Anyhoo, here is a link to the full list of nominees! That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.