Film Review: Screamboat (Steven LaMorte, 2025)

"A scream is a wish your heart makes"

When looked at from a purely WTF angle, this shitcrazed garbage movie (which is a lot like it's Staten Island Ferry setting, filthy, disgusting, & crusty) is weirdly entertaining, and loads better than any of the rabid plethora of public domain horror films bloodying up the cinematic waters as of late.

Sure, it's badly acted (comically bad by some), and really makes no narrative sense at times, and for some reason, the size of our intrepid anti-hero villain, the public domain-inized Steamboat Willie, keeps changing from a few inches tall to about a foot tall, but it's still a fun ride - and in something deeper than mere MST3K style.

David Howard Thornton, best known for his manic portrayal of Art the Clown in the Terrifier series, seems to take more than just a little glee in playing wild Willie - and i took more than a little glee in watching him take more than a little glee. And that one scene (if you've seen the movie, you know of what scene i speak) is more than gleefully horiffic.

And even though Willie is killing people left and right (it is a horror movie after all), most of these people are too annoting to live, so you kinda start rooting for the little guy. 

Better than either of the Winnie the Pooh Blood & Honeys, and a ton better than Popeye the Slayer Man (i haven't watched the other two public domain Popeye movies out this year yet, but who are we kidding - they are probably garbage as well) Screamboat is the best of the public domain retellings around. I am looking forward to Bambi: The Reckoning though.

I did say, in my opening salvo, that this film too is a garbage movie, but it's the kind of garbage that made me feel like Oscar the Grouch - i wanted to swim in more of it. And we may get that opportunity, because a sequel is as inevitable as a harpoon to the groin.

In the end (and on Letterboxd) i give the film 3 out of 5 stars. You have to be of a certain mindset to enjoy, but if you're of that mindset - you'll have a blast.