Friday, January 20, 2017

Here Are Some Things I Believe In, or to Put it in a Slightly More Grammatically Proper Way, Some Things In Which I Believe

So, since today (the Trump Inauguration is happening as I type these words) is a dark day in my nation's history, I thought I would post a rather positive piece for ya'll to read. Well, at least as positive as one can be on this wicked day. So here ya go. Have at it. Here are some things in which I believe...

I believe that Pluto is, and always will be, a planet.
I believe that Hello Kitty is a kitty, and not a little girl.
I believe that Han shot first!
I believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and ghosts.
I believe the Loch Ness Monster is not actually a monster.
I believe in all those things that go bump in the night!
I believe in Zimmerman
I believe in Father Christmas
I believe in Michael Brown
I believe Oswald did NOT act alone
I believe Jack Ruby was a patsy's patsy
I believe in this post
I believe this post is stoopid
I believe in the right for everyone to get married
I believe people should be able to use whichever bathroom they so desire
I believe Han shot first (did I already say this one?)
I believe Donald Trump has always been a repugnant human being
I believe in Kennedy
I believe in Chubby Checker
I believe in Yoko and Me
I believe in Miracles
I believe that time is non-linear
I believe the future can affect the past
I believe in the wibbly-wobbly and the timey-wimey
I believe in The Doctor
I believe I am The Doctor
I believe there is a cure for AIDS
I believe in Area 51
I believe our Government hides things from us
I believe there are aliens amongst us
I believe I may be one of them (but please don't tell anyone else)
I believe the Truth is Out There
I believe in Mulder and (sometimes) Scully
I believe Marisa Tomei deserved her Oscar for My Cousin Vinney
I believe Marisa Tomei deserves anything she wants
I believe in the ghost of Rutherford B. Hayes
I believe in the Ghost of Xmas Past
I believe in The Plastic Ono Band
I believe Leonard Peltier is innocent
I believe Charlie Manson was railroaded
I believe the Rosenbergs were heroes
I believe we should all look for the union label
I believe the record companies should fuck off
I believe Andy Kaufman is still alive
I believe in Prince
I believe in Bowie
I believe in Absurdism
I believe in Dada
I believe in Gaga
I believe in the Mother Monster
I believe Black Lives Matter
I believe I benefit from white privilege
I believe most white people do not believe they do too
I believe in the holy spirit of Huey Lewis & the News
I believe in Hot Chocolate
I believe in Marriage Equality
I believe homophobes are assholes
I believe the cornfields of Kansas are exploding
I believe the nuclear codes are in the wrong hands
I believe war is a for-profit industry
I believe prisons are too
I believe Seinfeld is the greatest comedy in TV history
I believe there is nothing wrong with that
I believe the New York Times said god is dead
I believe dinosaurs are going to make a comeback
I believe sexy never left (Prince said that)
I believe Marilou Henner is an underrated genius
I believe that last statement was just a joke
I believe in the Rebel Alliance
I believe Order 66 was bullshit
I believe in the all-encompasing power of Alec Baldwin
I believe Tina Fey is one of the sexiest women on TV
I believe Dorothy Parker was wrong about that whole glasses quip
I believe in Barbara Feldon
I believe in cats and dogs
I believe in the awesomeness of Dr. Peter Venkman
I believe that Han shot first! Did I mention that one already?
I believe Joan Crawford never beat her kids with wire hangers!
I believe Michael Jackson never touched those children!!
and
I believe we will all get through this terrible time (sorta)....

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.

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