Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Heavenly Body of the Month: Mars! Mars! Mars!

Hello, and welcome to the first edition of our Heavenly Body of the Month series. Granted, even though this is the first of that series, it is actually the 78th in the series, which up until now, was called Heavenly Body of the Week. The weekly aspect of our little outer space game had already been getting rather loosey goosey even before my recent 3-month sabbatical, so we went and changed things up a bit. But enough of all this, let's get on with why we are here right now.

More oft than not, my choice for heavenly body has been some so-called fictional planet or moon or what have you. Whether it be Tatooine or Gallifrey or even Magneto's Asteroid M, the majority have been fictional places. Well, at least I am saying these places are fictional. That's just for the Muggles in the audience. We know better though, don't we? Anyhoo, I digress.

Today, our heavenly body is the real life planet of Mars. I figure, the red planet has been in the news lately, so why not give it some lovin' here too. But do beware oh true believers, for Mars is a dangerous place. Not to sound too xenophobic, or whatever the word would be in this case, but Martians cannot be trusted. I repeat, never trust a Martian. Never. Just ask Ray Bradbury. They do not come in peace. Even if they say they come in peace, as in Mars Attacks!, do not believe them, because they do not. These are the real aliens we need to deport. Fuckin' Martian scum! Yeah, NASA now says there may be water on Mars. Well, any self-respecting Whovian knows that is not a good thing. If they start bottling Martian water, do not drink it. Or maybe some should drink it. Weed out all those aforementioned Muggles. But again, I digress.

Mars is a mighty planet. It has been the setting for more film and literature than any other planet save Earth. There is even a film out right now, about poor, not-so-hapless Matt Damon, stuck on the red planet. There have been a slew of great films set on Mars. From the silent Russian film, Aelita: Queen of Mars to Brian De Palma's oft-maligned (and wrongly so) Mission to Mars. The planet is named after the Roman God (better known as Ares to all you Greek-minded folk) and there is even a candy bar named after it. Granted, the Mars bar ain't no Milky Way, but it ain't half bad either. We also have Marvin the Martian, but that just brings us back to the no-good, untrustworthy Martian stereotype, and I wanted to veer away from that for the rest of this post. Oh hell, who I am kidding. The Martian is a bastard, and needs to be eradicated. Fuckin' Martians! Coming here and taking all ou jobs! Go back where you belong ya green-skinned bastards! Or whatever fucking colour you happen to be in whichever movie or book or TV show you are from. The truth is out there, and it says that Martians suck!

Anyhoo, that it enough of that. Matt Damon ain't so bad. What? But he's the title character in The Martian. So he's not an actual Martian? Oh. Well then, never mind. All Martians suck. Again, just ask Ray Bradbury. Well, there ya go kiddies. The first Heavenly Body of the Month (formerly known as Heavenly Body of the Week). Hope ya'll survived the experience. If an actual Martian were involved, you may not have. Next time around, we may be going boldly where...well, you know the rest.

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.



Monday, October 5, 2015

Aaaaaand, We're Back!: The Mighty Mighty Return of the Blog!

Wow! It seems to have been forever since last time we talked here at All Things Kevyn. Sure, I've seen a lot of you on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat and whatever other forms of social media are hanging around these days, but here at the ole blog (the old school of the social medias), it has most certainly been quite a while. But here we are, after three months of a semi-sabbatical, in order to work more thoroughly on my book (more on that a bit later), I hath returned to my beloved pop cultury (timy-wimey) blog, and the fun shall now resumeth. But what exactly does this returneth mean for you, my faithful readers and true believers? Well, lemme tell ya!

For beginners, I will not be posting quite as often as I had been back in my blogging hey day. For a while, I was averaging 20 or 21 posts per month. Then, as my aforementioned sabbatical hit, that average went down to exactly 2 posts per three months. Yeah, anyhoo, now that we are back in the ole saddle again, that average will probably be around 13 per month. Mostly, I will be posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, or at least somewhere near that schedule (maybe a Tuesday or Saturday might sneak in there instead), but then I never have done all that great with a schedule, so who knows. And, with this slight downgrading in posting proliferation, there are some regular series' that will be seen a bit less. Formerly monthly series' like The Alphabet Game and fan fave, People Who Need to Be Punched in the Face, will most likely turn to a bi-monthly appearance schedule. And that is the every other month version of bi-weekly, as opposed to the twice a month version, which is more accurately described as semi-weekly. But that's just the beginning. Let's keep talking.

With this re-scheduling thingamabob going on, the gaps will be filled in with more film and TV reviews, both of which have been lacking over the past year. Definite reviews coming will include Crimson Peak (in just two weeks time) and, of course, a bit further down the line, both the new Star Wars and Tarantino's The Hateful Eight. There will also be new TV reviews coming soon, but more on those later (can you say Mr. Robot!?). There will also be new posts on comic books (another lacking feature this past year) and other pop culture fun times. Another regular series, formerly known as Heavenly Body of the Week, will hither to be known as Heavenly Body of the Month. Yeah, but don't worry, ya'll will still get your outer space freak on. And The 11 Question Interview will also be returning sometime in late October (can you say Tabitha Soren!?). But I've rambled on enough about what things are changing 'round these parts. What about some new things?

So what the hell is coming!? Well, other than a new slew of top ten lists and what have you, my upcoming Oscar Predictions, my annual best of the year lists (cinema, television, & comic books), brand new polls, possible new La-La & Lu-Lu comic strips, and all the stuff mentioned earlier, there is a bunch of fresh new features coming to the All-New, All-Improved All Things Kevyn. Some of these fresh new features are...waitaminute...I can't let that information out right now. I've gotta keep some things for future announcements. But hey, what about my Instagramming!? Glad ya asked. Actually, there are some fun things going on over at Instagram (@kevynknox), and those who already follow my every move (and shouldn't you all??) know all about that. But, more on that in a future post. Meanwhile go on over and check things out. Anyhoo, that's it for my welcome back post. Sure, blogging may seem a bit antiquated in this world of instant gratification media, but I like it, so I'm going to keep on keepin' on at it. Glad to be back, and glad to have ya'll around...both my old guard fans, and all the newcomers jumping on my cult or personality amusement park ride.

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.