Tuesday, March 17, 2015

A Bit O' the Green, and All That Kinda Blarney

So today is what the folks here on Earth call St. Patrick's Day. Well, at least the folks in some parts of the planet call it that. The others just call it Tuesday. For those who do not know, St. Patrick's Day, or St. Paddy's day as it is sometimes referred to, but NEVER St. Patty's day, but more on that later, please allow me to digress. Anyhoo, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, St. Paddy's Day is the day on which every red-blooded American boy and girl go out and get totally wasted, usually drinking green tinted light beer, and proclaim their Irishness in this drunken debauchery. For those in Ireland, the home of the holiday, they just do what they always do...go out and get totally wasted, but on real beer, not green-tinted light beer. And there is no need to proclaim their Irishness since they are...well, they are fucking Irish. But again, I digress.

As I was saying earlier, St. Patrick's day is often called St. Paddy's Day. But then there are those douche bag idiots who claim it as St. Patty's Day. What the fuck, people!!? It is not St. Patricia Day!! I even sometimes see bars putting up signs saying St. patty's Day. Seriously!? Perhaps these bars should lose their liquor licenses for the day for such a thing. That'll learn 'em. Anyhoo, that's all I got on St. Paddy's day. American's get drunk and drink green piss water and say things like "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" Everyone wears green, which is kinda totally cliche and a half by now. Maybe where blue instead. You know, just to be a bit original. But then they are just going to be drunk anyway, so who the fuck cares. I was a bartender in an Irish pub for three years, and believe me when I say there are a lot of drunken idiots out there every March 17th, as well as the weekend closest to the holiday. Yeah yeah, I know, there are drunks in bars every day of the year, but it gets a special kind of drunkenness on St. paddy's Day. Must be the green-tinted light beer.

But enough of this blathering about. I'm sure I have been a drunken idiot on many occasions throughout my life, so who am I to talk. Still not drinking that green piss water though. Anyway, I just wanted to say Happy Blarney and all that jazz, from Me and everyone here at The All Things Kevyn Entertainment Network. That's it gang. See ya 'round the web. And remember, it's Paddy, not Patty, ya wankers!


  1. It is the one day where everyone expects people to get wasted and drink green beer when, any other time, they wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft pole