Friday, December 5, 2014

People Who Need To Be Punched in the Face, Pt. IV

As David Coverdale once crooned, here we go again, punchin' people in the face. Okay, perhaps I have taken some liberties with that particular Whitesnake song, but hey, that's what I do - take liberties. Anyhoo, here we go again with another edition of "People Who Need To Be Punched in the Face." The fourth edition. The great thing about this particular monthly series, is that I am never going to run out of subject matter. There are more than enough idiots and assholes out there to keep this series running until those proverbial cows come home. And yes, people who say things like when the cows come home, are perfect candidates for a good face punching. Sure, I may repeat names throughout these lists (one person in particular gets a mention or three every single time we do this - and you know who you are Lena Dunham) but the time will never come where there are not fresh, as-of-yet unpunched faces that are in dire need of a good old fashioned punching.

Robin Thicke
Felix Unger
Leonardo DiCaprio
Bloggers who choose unreadable fonts
Fucktwats & A-Holes
Lena Dunham
Sgt. Snorkle
Lumbersexuals
Harrisburg Hipsters
People who have never seen a Scorsese film
The ghost of Ted Hughes
Pat, from my old job
Christian Bale
Eugene Porter
That Bitch, Glinda
That one guy from those Sonic commercials
The Ferguson, MO. Grand Jury
The Ferguson, MO. looters
Buttmunch McGee
Jon Gaige (just seeing if he is paying attention)
Okay, Jon Gaige (for real this time)
The Emperor
Toby Keith
Lena Dunham
Bill Cosby & his Jell-O Wiggler
Alex Jones
Alex Jones supporters
Greta Gerwig's publicist
Duncan Hines
Darren Wilson
Anyone who believes Darren Wilson
Anyone who doesn't think it was about race
Yeah, those people
Dawn, from The Walking Dead
Whiners
Sergeants Major
Mumford & Sons fans
Mumford & Sons
Idolators
Eddie Haskell
Rob Liefeld
Churchies
Henchmen
Trisha Yearwood
Bobby Flay
Roberto de Costa
Chriss Angel
The parents of about 99% of toddlers
The butcher & the baker
Okay, the candlestick maker too
Eagles fans (football team or band, take your pick)
William Bruce Rose, Jr.
Jose Canseco
People against black stormtroopers
Penny-pinchers
Lazy raccoons
The Mayor (you know which one)
Fracking frackers
Wes Anderson fans
Wes Anderson
Wes Anderson fans (again)
That one guy you know
The beardy guy from the Spin Doctors
Ridley Scott
Adele Dazeem, but not Idina Menzel
Never Idina Menzel
George W. Bush
Dick Cheney
Bubbly Toots
Bat Mite
That little bitch, Piglet
Kaiden Kzing
Jenny McCarthy
Dr. Oz
A-Rod!!
Lisa Dizzon
Filthy Pinko Communists
Whomever decided kale was a snack food
Tim Watley
Wario
Batroc the Leaper
Every idiot ever on Survivor
Men who go to Jared
Joey from Harper's
That creepy loser from the cinema
Pig Fuckers!
Primus
Men named Herbert
Holden Caulfield, the Goddamn Phony
Ann Coulter, but then that was probably obvious
Ann Coulter, just in case you missed the last line
Yeah, Ann Coulter for sure
Have I mentioned Ann Coulter?
People who do NOT want to Rock the Casbah
Flightless birds (except for the Penguins)
Nebraska
Rand Paul
Brian Wilson
David Byrne
 People who misuse apostrophes
The Jailor Man & Sailor Sam
Rufus Dangerman
Wolf Blitzer
People who aren't down with the Cumberbatch
Santa (just ask Rudolph why)
Planet Pluto deniers
Fishook McGee
Butterhead Jones
Anthony Anderson & Melissa Joan Hart
Have I mentioned Ann Coulter?
The fake Stephen Colbert
Curly Joe DeRita
Papa John
The Muppet Babies
The Comic Book Men
Pornstache
People who don't like toast
Beatrice from those e-surance commercials
Candy Crushers
Starburns
Apple Folk
Tony Stark
The guy who runs this blog

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.


3 comments:

  1. These just seem to get better & better. I think the rabbit from Winnie the Pooh should get punched plus the author who thought it cute to nickname a boy bear WINNIE the POOH. This comes from the gal who has played candy crush and wonders why she continues to do so

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  2. Never heard of a lumbersexual until now. Looked it up and still don't get it. Ha.

    But... Bat-Mite? Aw, really? :)

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  3. Better and better? Really? It is kind of strange that this particular series is the most popular one on this here blog. Guess folks like imagining people getting punched in the face.

    Yeah, and Bat-Mite too!

    Thanx for stopping by. See ya 'round the web.

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