Friday, November 7, 2014

People Who Need To Be Punched in the Face - Vol. III

So here we go again, punching people in the face. The first two volumes of my People Who Need To Be Punched In The Face posts, were big big hits, so here comes volume three of our rather rude exercise. And please remember that I am not advocating violence, especially violence against women, as many of the players here are women, but rather these are just suggestions of people who need to be punched in the face. If you happen to come across one of these people, and decide to punch them in the face, please remember that you are not doing it because of what I have written here, but because of some inner turmoil in your soul or whatever you have in there. Oh, and as for the women on this list, if you are going to punch them in the face, please make sure you are a woman also. That way, it is a little more evenly balanced out. And one other thing: to all those on this list, if you get punched in the face, no hard feelings, and no sueing of me. You must have done something to warrant your name being added to this list. Personally I have placed myself on each of these lists, sometimes several times in several different guises. I suppose I need to be punched in the face as well. Ain't life grand? Now, let's get on with the show. Disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer. Bolierplate boilerplate boilerplate.

People Who Need To Be Punched in the Face
(in no particular order)

Jack Valenti
Butterhead Jones
Lena Dunham
Zima drinkers
Dr. Sanjay Gupta
Vance and Coy Duke
Those who do not like tater tots
Kanye West, Self Proclaimed Genius
Rufus Dangerman (again)
Bud Selig
Phil Jackson
Ace, Your Ship's photographer
Elle Driver
Angry Beavers
Mildly Upset Owls
Dr. Zaius
Miners for a heart of gold
Teddy Ruxpin
Snooki and Jwoww
Busta Rhymes
Mia Farrow
Bad Tippers
Marie, but not Donny
Gareth from The Walking Dead
The entire cast of Red Band Society
Peyton Manning
eBay snipers
The Scarlet Witch
Meg Griffin
The Diddler in the Trunk
Hitler, and preferably by a Turtle (see end of post)
Pop Culturists
Michael Cera
Lena Dunham
Mitch McConnell
Bluecollar folks who vote Republican
Fanchette, the Asshole Cat
Nancy Kerrigan
Okay, Donny too
Skinny bitches
Mother pus-buckets
Robber Barons
Cam Winston
Hipster Superman
Danny McBride
David Evans
Art Vandelay
People who listen to Blink-182
That guy at the mall
The Sun from those Jimmy Dean commercials
Douches who don't like Bill Murray
Monday morning quarterbacks
Wayne from The Wonder Years
Tom Dooley
Alan Smithee
Alan Smithee, Jr.
All Squirrels
Anyone making their employees work on Thanksgiving
People who eat at Papa John's
Papa John
Thin Lizzy
John Q. Public
Jackson Kelly
People who bring a baby to a movie
Open carry advocates
People who think all Muslims are terrorists
The ghost of Jack Ruby
The ghost of Tom Joad
Casper the Ghost
Frank Burns
Chuck Griffith
People who don't respect Chico Marx
King Trident, Maniacal Master of the 7 1/2 Seas
1 of the 2 Broke Girls
People who call Michelle Obama fat
Pippa Middleton
Anyone named Pippa
Zuky, ya smug bitch
People who don't like Christmas
Lloyd & Harry
Steff McKee
Peeta Mellark
Conan, the Barbarian, not Coco
Arthur Spooner
Jim Nantz
La-La, but not Lu-Lu
Kevin Spacey, but in a loving way
Supermarket DJ's
Wang Chung
Chris Christie
The Wife of Bath
Jack-O-Lanterns, on November 1st
Grumpy Cat
Todd Akin (R-MO)
Clayton Williams (R-TX)
Richard Mourdock (R-IN)
Lawrence Lockman (R-ME)
Jodie Laubenberg (R-TX)
Ass Hats
Dennis at work
Ben Stein
Peter Piper
Oswald Cobblepot
Bloggers who make stupid lists

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web. Keep your feet on the ground and keep punching for the stars.


  1. Glad to see Lena Dunham on this list and Alan Smithee:) Kanye I thought was done but he can be hit again and again along with Jay-Z. Hitler needs to bepunched repeatedly along with Stalin and Mussolini who called himself Il Duce but is just a douche

  2. Jack Valenti? Is he still alive?

    Kanye West, definitely.

  3. Impressive. Are you sure you haven't forgotten anyone, perhaps "people who claim to be open minded but really aren't"?

    Father Nature's Corner

  4. Thanx for stopping by.

    B - Lena has been on all of my lists so far (several times each). She seems to be my fave go-to punching bag here. And Hitler, well...

    Fox - No, Valenti's been dead since 2007, but I still don't like his MPAA ratings system...or that hair. Ha!

    GB - Yeah, there are many I haven't included. That's why I do multiple volumes. I'll get everyone eventually (I try to include myself on each and every list, in some form or guise). As for those who claim to be open minded but really aren't, I think in some way or another, that is pretty much everyone who claims to be open minded.

    Anyhoo, glad to have ya'l aboard. See ya 'round the web.

  5. Oh Lena Dunham. As a feminist, I am supposed to like that bitch. I am sorry, but I just cannot do that.