Wednesday, October 1, 2014

People Who Need To Be Punched In The Face - Vol. 2

So, to paraphrase David Coverdale, here we go again. The first volume of my People Who Need To Be Punched In The Face post, was a big ole hit. I guess there are a lot of other fun-loving fellow haters out there in the blogosphere. So many that I am forced to do this again. You see, since there are always people who need to be punched in the face, no one post can list every deserving face. So here comes volume two of our rather rude exercise. Not that we didn't all already know this was coming, thanks to me sub-titling the previous list as Volume 1. Yup. Oh, and as always, I take no responsibility for any of those listed below actually getting punched in the face. I am not advocating violence, so much as letting people in on who deserves to be punched in the face - metaphorically or otherwise. If you want to actually punch any of these people in the face, you only have yourself to blame. I am sure there will be some who will whine and bitch about how I am advocating violence, or even domestic violence (and yes, some of the folks on the following list are indeed women) but these people are merely taking things way too seriously, and need to chillax, home slices. Take a chill pill, and all that. Anyhoo, let's get on with this, shall we? We shall. And awaaaaaaay we go...

People Who Need To Be Punched in the Face
(in no particular order)

Ruth Buzzi
Bob the Builder
Any and all Kardashians
People who do not believe in Evolution
Jeff Winger from Community
Eddie Bauer
Gwyneth Paltrow
Steve from Guns N' Roses
Paste-Pot Pete
 The Ugandan government
 People who don't see the subversive genius in Family Circus
Fans of Nickelback (obviously)
Lena Dunham
Rev. Charles L. Worley
Anyone who would ever vote for Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin
The Dutch
Randy Newman
Men who wear pinky rings and the women who love them
Donatello (the artist, not the turtle)
Courtney Love
The Doublemint Twins
Brad Majors (Asshole!)
People who stop in a doorway when walking into a store
Amanda Bynes
Armond White
Rush Limbaugh (of course)
Anyone against gay marriage
Mary Worth
Dean Koontz
People who wear clothes ironically
Bill Keisling (but in the most respectful way)
People who hate Seinfeld
David Ortiz
Rex Reed
Reed Richards
Prince Harry
Traveling salesmen
Arnie Becker, Esquire
People against raising the minimum wage
Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Larry King
Ted Nugent (of course)
That bitch who won't believe it's Jake from State Farm on the phone
The guy who is calling Jake from State Farm at 3:00 am
Jake from State Farm
Arrogant rabbits
Kid Rock
Tyra Banks
Glue sniffers
 Those meddling kids
People who don't trust Sketchy Jeff
Det. Elliot Stabler
The geese in Riverfront Park
Punch, but not Judy (see pic above)
Steve Trevor
Mark Trail
Everyone involved with Domino's Pizza
Lena Dunham
Harvey Wallbanger
 Kevyn Knox (the bastard!)
Danny Partridge
Jack Sprat
Gimlet drinkers
People who say "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
Chuck Lorre
Tony Stewart
Poopy Face Tomato Nose
Lonnie Smith
Dr. Henry McCoy
Col. Mustard in the Conservatory with the Candlestick
Mr. Peanut
The Gooch
Charles Rocket
Men named Arthur
Jose Canseco (nark!)
People who call subs, hoagies
Tom Sizemore
That bitch at your office who takes her job way too seriously
Jason Varitek
Whoever canceled Firefly
Whoever renewed Babylon-5
Jerry Sandusky
Anyone who has covered-up for and/or defended Jerry Sandusky
Fans of the Oscar winning film, Ordinary People
Ray Rice (twice!)
Wilford Brimley
T Mobile users
People who don't like Back to the Future
People who've been to Paradise but have never been to me
People who prefer Jennifer to Bailey
Scott Baio
Illinois Nazis
Super Creepy Rob Lowe
That know-it-all Athena
Deviled egg haters
Tucker Carlson
Rob Liefeld
Colonel Krangg
Women who vote Republican
People who talk about fight club
Johnny Reb
Lena Dunham
Pop culture bloggers
Thor (Ha! You can't even lift a hammer anymore)
The bridge and tunnel crowd
People who say "could care less" (It's couldn't!!)
People who know all the words to Kokomo
Tax collectors
Senator Palpatine
Uncle Meat Pants
Spike Lee
Billy Batson
The Hawk of Achill
Jeff Carter (not really, just making sure he's paying attention)
Anyone who adds unnecessary Y's to their name
People who don't stay to the end

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.


  1. OK you made me laugh out loud a few times. "The Dutch"-priceless and so is that damm insurance commercial. Glad to see Rex reed in that pack. I would add German comedians.

  2. Glad ya liked it. Wait...there are German comedians!?

  3. I think this even than first..
    Rex Reed yes! Reed Richard really?
    Thor is woman

  4. Snow -- Reed Richards is a pompous ass. Just ask his family. Hell, his own daughter, when given the choice, decided to live with Dr. Doom rather than dear old dad. Plus, he's part of a cabal that the Avengers are getting ready to take down, so a punch in the face is the least we can do.

    As for Thor, yeah, the new Thor is a lady, but the old Thor is no longer worthy of his hammer, and has to carry an axe around now. Pussy.