ed. note: The below diatribe/semi-incomprehensible rant was written by All Things Kevyn foreign-esque correspondent, Rufus Dangerman. The opinions in said rant do not necessarily reflect those views held by the owners of this blog, but then again, maybe they do. So, without further ado, here it is...
I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I have no fucking idea why Kevyn even let's me write these guest posts. Yea, we've been friends for like ever, but still. The fact that he allows me to come into his home, as it were, and ramble on and on about bullshit and any ole fucking crapola I wish to, amazes the shit outta me. But who the fuck am I to argue? If Kevyn's a big enough idiot, or should I say, forward thinking enough, to allow me to come back here and make an ass out of myself, so fuckin' be it. Last time he censored all the so-called fucking dirty bird words, but I don't think he's gonna do that this time around. Anyway, that was just for satiric comic effect, and all that. But enough about me, let's talk about me.
So so so, now that I'm done yakkin' about all the introductory bullshit (all that David Copperfield crap) what the fuck should I write about? What what what? Let's just toss it all out there, and go with whatever kinda stream of consciousness nonsense we can spew out. See if Kevyn likes that. Yea, I'm talkin' to you Knox! So, stream of whatever is the thing. Let's start off with my travels, or as the blog's owner would say, and insufferably so, my aforementioned travels. As I said, I done been travelin' about this grand old nation of ours. I've been everywhere man. Seriously. I've been to Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota, Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma, Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma, Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo, Tocapillo, Baranquilla, and Perdilla. Yea, I'm a killer.
Okay, I may have ripped that last riff off from a certain man in black. Otherwise, let's move on. And speaking of Johnny Cash. See how that stream of everything works? And speaking of Johnny Cash. I'm kinda out of it. Cash, that is. Well, I was outta cash, which is why I halted my travels and headed back here to Harrisburg, PA, my home base of sorts. I figure I find a job here and gather up some more moola for my future days on the road. Sure, I been doin' some odd jobs on the road, but I still figured I'd head back home, and hunker down for the Winter. Head back out on the road in da Springtime of next year. So yea, any of those local Harrisburg yokels that wanna hook up and have some drinks - you buyin'? Yea! But let's move on to another topic. The topic of me! How's that for a fucking segue?
So that's it for this time around. See Kevyn, I didn't get all controversial on things like religion and politics and all that fucking shit. Maybe I'll be back sooner than last time. Oh yea, one last thing: Christians suck, and so do Republicans. Fuckin' morons. All of 'em. Take that!
The man known as Rufus Dangerman can be found elsewhere on the world wide web as well, such as at his website, The Dangerman Blog; his Tumblr site, It Ain't What it Used to Be; and, of course, just like every other mo-fo on the planet, on Facebook as well. That's it for now. Be back for more next time...if you dare (insert maniacal laughter here, please).