Monday, July 28, 2014

Duck(ish) Tales: The 10 Best Huey, Dewey, and Louies

So, it would seem that Donald's color-coded nephews are not the only important Huey, Dewey, and Louie's around these parts. That being so, I figured a fun top ten list could come out of this, so here ya go. I did it pretty fairly too, including three Huey's, three Dewey's, and then four Louie's (or Louis' as the case may be). Granted, the Louie/Louis ones were a bit easier than the Huey's and Dewey's. There is one major Louis/Louie I did leave off the list, which is an extra surprising omission considering my love of classic cinema. That omission is MGM head honcho, Louis B. Mayer. Sure, he is (semi) responsible for some of my all-time favourite films, but come on, the guy was a real asshole. Granted, there are a couple assholes who did make the list (judge for yourself, which ones these are) but none of 'em were as big of assholes as King Mayer was. Just ask the pill popping Judy Garland about her childhood. Well, if you could, that is. You get my meaning. Anyhoo, let's get on with this list dammit!! WE have ten (or eleven) Huey, Dewey, and Louie's to countdown.

And awaaaaaaay we go...

Special Mention: Louis Garrel

To keep peace at home, I had to include one of my lovely wife's favourite actors somewhere in here. Is special mention good enough? I hope so. Actually I like M. Garrel perfectly fine, but I do have fun mocking him to my lovely wife. I mean he is your typical French bohemian, which means he is arrogant, rude, and probably bathes very little. Okay, other than the not bathing part, that pretty much describes me, so I suppose he isn't half bad after all. I did quite like him in The Dreamers, although I was probably watching Eva Green as his sister, a bit more closely. But hey, he does have pretty awesome hair.

10. Louie Louie by the Kingsmen

Noted for people not understanding the lyrics, and some even thinking they are dirty and/or subversive, this song, covered by tons of artists, from Toots and the Maytals to Otis Redding to Iggy Pop to The Pretty Things to Black Flag and Motorhead even, is just a fun little diddy about not much of anything. Musically speaking is was quite innovative though, but it wasn't until Iggy and his Stooges added filthy lyrics in their cover, did it ever get actual subversive lyrics. So there!

9. Dewey Dell Bundren

Definitely the most obscure Huey, Dewey, and Louie on the list. Well, unless you happen to be a book nerd and/or are into William Faulkner. As Faulkner is considered the greatest American author by my lovely wife, I suppose this entry will get me even more points than the aforementioned M. Garrel. One of the characters from Faulkner's As I Lay Dying, Dewey Dell isn't exactly the happiest of fictional characters - even by Faulkner standards. Living in a world she describes as a "tub of guts," poor Dewey Dell is living an ugly existence, and is one of the more tragic heroes of literature - even by Faulkner standards. The above pic is of Ahna O'Reilly, who plays Dewey Dell in James Franco's 2013 adaptation of the novel.

8. Bell UH-1 Iroquois Helicopter, aka The Huey

Once the elite flying machine of the US Army, the Huey helicopter, first flown in 1956, and put into production in 1960, was the chopper that helped the US win the Vietnam War. Well, okay, I suppose the term "win" is a bit of a misnomer. What if I were to say, the Huey helicopter was the fast swirling monster machine that helped the US slaughter lots of innocent Vietnamese, all in the name of whatever bullshit excuse the government came up with for being over there in the first place. Too soon? Anyway, as long as Flight of the Valkyries is blaring from the choppers, it's all good.

7. Louis CK

There are a handful of comics out there who make me literally burst with laughter. Seriously,I have had to have emergency surgery on several occasions. Anyhoo, while I have, of course, laughed at many a comic, there are only a few who do the whole side-splitting thing for me. Denis Leary is one, Ricky Gervais is another, and in case you didn't already figure it out, Louis CK is another. With his acerbic, fuck-you-all wit, he is most certainly one of the best Huey, Dewey, and/or Louie's out there.

6. Dewey Beats Truman

Perhaps the most famous, and most ridiculously screwed up newspaper headline of all-time. You see, back in the 1948 Presidential election, New York Governor Thomas E. Dewey apparently beat out incumbent President, Harry S. Truman, to become the 34th President of the United States of America. At least that's what the Chicago Tribune read on the morning of November 3rd. Only problem was that Dewey did not beat Truman, and Harry S. would remain the President for another term. See, even before the hanging chad, some people had a problem counting votes.

5. Huey P. Newton

Huey P. Newton was a political activist from Monroe, Louisiana. In 1966 he, along with fellow activist (and future Chicago 8 defendant) Bobby Seale, founded the Black Panthers. Newton was a tireless activist for black rights, and is a hero among as many as he is a villain. In 1989, after fights with former Panthers, Huey P. Newton met with one of these former allies on a street corner, for a supposed shoot-out. Newton told the man "You can kill my body, and you can take my life, but you can never kill my soul. My soul will live forever!" Newton was then shot and killed by the murderer. Huey P. Newton was not armed.

4. King Louie

Ever since I was a wee kid, my favourite Disney character has been King Louie, the King of Swing from the 1967 film, The Jungle Book. I remember having a Disney movie album as a kid, and one of the songs on it was "I Wanna Be Like You," sung by Louis Prima as King Louie. Hey, look there! Another Louie/Louis! Actually, according to legend, the folks at Disney (this was the first film made after Walt's death) had wanted Louis Armstrong for the part, but thought better of what could happen if they cast a black man as an ape. But not to worry true believers, I'm pretty sure Mr. Satchmo is coming up soon on the list. At least, he should. Who would be stupid enough to do a list such as this, and NOT include Louis Fucking Armstrong!?

3. The Dewey Decimal System

As any book nerd or librarian knows, the Dewey Decimal System is the one and only, top of the heap, A #1 way of cataloging books. Pretty much every single freaking book in existence! First implemented in 1876, by Melvil Dewy, this system is the way we classify all our books. Anyone old enough should still remember the card catalogs in their school libraries. I loved those things. Anything that catalogs something else, is just alright with this quite nerdy boy. Of course, nowadays it's all done on computers (duh!) but those cards will forever live in my memories. Thanks Melvil.

2. Huey Lewis & the News

The five greatest albums of all-time are, in no particular order, Revolver by The Beatles, Led Zepplin IV, Kind of Blue by Miles Davis, The Velvet Underground & Nico, and Sports by Huey Lewis & the News. Okay, perhaps one of these are just in jest, but no matter, because I do love Huey Lewis & the News. Okay, perhaps love is a bit strong of a word. Maybe I like them a lot is a better term. Maybe not. Who the hell knows. What I do know is that, for about a seventeen month period back in the 1980's (from about February of 1984 to sometime during the Summer of 1985) Huey Lewis & the News were the veritable shit. The Power of Love, indeed!

1. Louis Armstrong

See. I told you someone would have to be pretty stupid to make a list such as this, and NOT include Louis Fucking Armstrong. So here he is, taking his rightful place at number one. Atop all the Hueys and all the Deweys, and even all his fellow Louies. One of the greatest Jazz musicians, hell, one of the greatest musicians of all-time, Pops also had a voice that is pure, raw power. When Louis blows his trumpet, you know it, and when he scats and sings, you know that too. His versions of Mack the Knife and Dream A Little Dream, are things of pure beauty. Ain't nobody gonna outdo Satchmo. Ain't nobody!!

That's it gang. See ya 'round the web.


  1. Louis Armstrong had to be #1 for sure. Huey Lewis would be further down the list. I mean that guy in the white tennis outfit-egad! I miss looking up library books the old way. You should do a to best of the nastiest people from Hollywood the Louis B would be on there and so would Harry Cohn(ass squirmin-must not be a hit)

  2. Something about Huey Garrel reminds me of the young Bob Dylan.

    Can't see helicopters over the waves without thinking of Apocalypse Now...

    L. B. Mayer almost rates a post for himself.

  3. Yes, Louis Armstrong did have to be number one! And that Huey shot is actually a shot from Apocalypse Now, so apparently I could not stop from thinking about it either. Oh, and here's to Malcolm's little brother Dewey.

    See ya 'round the web!

  4. The Huey's in Vietnam pic... an amazing machine crewed by some amazing young men; many of whom died. Yup, a bad war created by megalomaniac politicians... that don't detract from the men that had to go to it and do it!