Friday, April 4, 2014

Guest Post: The Dangers of Being The Dangerman, Pt. III

ed. note: The below diatribe/semi-incomprehensible rant was written by All Things Kevyn foreign-esque correspondent, Rufus Dangerman.  The opinions in said rant do not necessarily reflect those views held by the owners of this blog, but then again, maybe they do.  So, without further ado, here it is... oh yeah, and for those of you who are averse to certain types of language, all has been censored, so no need to worry yourself about it... in fact, that's kinda the whole point...

So, when Kevyn came to me this month, and told me that my latest guest post would be part of something call the A to Z Blogging Challenge, or some sort of thing, I kinda said, "so what." Yeah, well apparently he said that there were possibly some uptight people also participating in this month long blogathon thingee, and maybe I should probably watch my language. What the fuck is up wit that shit!? Now Kevyn never said he would censor me - he ain't into censorship, and thinks people getting all over-a-barrel about words like fuck and goddamn and cocksucker are just as lame as I think they are - but even so, I know the guy is just going to black out all the so-called dirty words in my latest diatribe anyway. I'm right, ain't I. He's doing that very same shit right now, isn't he? Bastard! So anyway, I guess I should just go on and do that thing I do so well - bitch and whine and complain about stupid shit that bothers me. Ya know, I really don't swear all that much, but since I know there may be people out there who are offended by the use of a word - a fucking word!!? - I just can't fucking help my self. I will try and curb it though. I ain't nuthin' if not a helpful son of a bitch. This post shouldn't be riddled with too many black squares after all. That would look fucking stupid. Anyway, here we go.

So, what should we talk about in this monthly installment of The Dangers of Being The Dangerman? I got it! Let's discuss the stupidity of censorship. Okay, so people gettin' their panties all up in a bunch over a fuckin' word is all fine and dandy. I mean, somethin' offends almost anybody. Usually it is truly offensive shit, like war or poverty or child molestation. But words!? Really!!? How do words offend a person? Oh well, to each their own, I say - no matter how silly it seems. But anyway, I ain't here to talk about such silliness. I'm a-talkin' 'bout real censorship. When these people who are offended by stupid shit want to take TV shows off the air, or they want movies censored, like they do at that evil empire known as Wal-Mart, or they say some songs are bad. Listen fucktwats, if ya don't want your fuckin' brat watchin' or listenin' to such things, then don't let them watch and listen to such things. Leave us consenting adults alone to watch and listen to whatever the fuck we want. But I digress. Seriously, I'm not usually this bad. Kevyn is going to go crazy with the black boxes. Just fuckin' crazy, man. But, I mean, the guy did tell me to behave myself. What did he fucking expect? But enough of this jabberwocky. Let's get a-movin' on, shall we?

Let's talk about something less controversial, eh? What about Gay Marriage? Again, it comes down to stupid fucktwats who want nothing more than to force their own stupid belief systems onto the rest of society. Two people are in love and they want to spend their lives together? Who the fuck are we to say they cannot do that!? We don't have that right! End of fucking story! All this nonsense by the right wing jack-offs and that owner of Chick-Fil-A-hole. Just leave the gays alone dammit! They have as much right as anyone else. This shouldn't even be an issue, man! Not an issue! And while I'm on a roll, let me say a little something about those motherfuckers over at Hobby Globby! How dare you say what your employees do with their bodies!! Yea, I know, their employees don't have to work there, but still, man!! Not cool. Not fucking cool. But I digress once again. I really am not here to keep bitching about shit. I'm really not. I'm just here to say my say. I'm a truthteller peeps. A modern day troubadour even. But really, when Kevyn told me about how there might be some that could be offended, I took it upon myself to offend them - even if Kevyn did censor me with all the fucking black squares I am sure are swirlin' about this post. But seriously, I do hate the whole idea of censorship. Be it the government doing it, or some fat soccer mom, or some right wing tea party nutjob.

But hey, I got a lot of better things to do than sit here and bitch and whine and try to scare the norms with my fucking words. Okay, I probably don't have anything better to do, but I probably should go now anyway. Actually, to be honest, I'm writing all of this, sitting in a coffeehouse in Portland, Oregon, and the barista's giving me the stink eye for taking up one of their tables for three and a half hours on one lousy latte. So yea, I should probably go now. So with that, I'm a-signin' off. And to all those I offended, oh well. Life's a bitch, then ya die. I ain't no fuckin' role model. Thanks to Kevyn for lettin' me do this for a third time - even with the black censor strips. I'm still not sure why he keeps lettin' me do it, but who am I to question it? See ya, bitches! Maybe I'll be back again some time. Maybe not. Who the fuck knows? See what I did there? Yep. As I've said about a bajillion times, I am an asshole. And just to prove Kevyn ain't no prude, even if he does censor me, one of his oldest friends, go ahead and check out the upcoming list for the letter F. Yep, you guessed it, baby.

ed. note: The guy really is an asshole.

*******

The man known as Rufus Dangerman can be found elsewhere on the world wide web as well, such as at his website, The Dangerman Blog; his Tumblr site, It Ain't What it Used to Be; and, of course, just like every other mo-fo on the planet, on Facebook as well.  That's it for now.  Be back for more next time...if you so dare.

11 comments:

  1. The first censored post I've read in the challenge :)

    Damyanti Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2014, Latest Post

    Twitter: @damyantig
    #atozchallenge

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  2. Yeah, it's kinda censorship a la tongue firmly in cheek mode.

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  3. See, I knew you were gonna all black box me up. Damn I swear a lot, eh!? Peeps is still gonna be pissed though. Ha!

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  4. Fantastic take on the post, found myself trying to guess what was under the sensor before I had a look!

    Sarah :)
    Saloca in Wonderland

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  5. Yeah, it's like a dirty word advent calendar.

    Thanx for stopping by.

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  6. Classic. And so funny. And just what I needed. I could hear my 20-something self having this conversation with my 20-something friends. And I know my 50-something brain still has this conversation...but my 50-something self leaves out (most of) the black box words. And as a 50-something mom - I appreciate the black boxes. A bit uptight. I guess so.

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  7. Yeah, Rufus can be a bit of a problem child. Ha!

    He actually is usually a bit more eloquent, but when he heard he had to be less so... like I said, he is a problem child, but he is one of my oldest friends.

    We spent some great times back in the 1990's, out on the road, thinking we were Kerouac and Cassidy.

    Glad ya had a good time with this one. Thanx for stopping by.

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  8. Censorship can be awesome though. You just have to embrace it.

    Also, this makes me think that all those black bars on released top secret paperwork is really just people covering up all the shits and fucks and such.

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  9. This is from treyzguyblog.com aka Trey:
    The thingee is not working right.... So, I'm circumventing it...
    Here's my comment :
    The weird /scary part is that I filled in the blanks with my own words and it was much *radio edit *worse!
    Awesome! Lol...
    Very creative and worth my__________ time!

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  10. I knew that telling Rufus ahead of time about the possibility of him being censored, would just make him louder and more obnoxious - but that was what I was hoping for. Now I don't actually believe in censorship (my thoughts on the subject pretty much mirror my friend/guest blogger) but when I heard that some in the A to Z Challenge might be offended by so-called foul language (I didn't realize how many born agains and such were around here until I started browsing other blogs in the party) I had to make some sort of statement. So there it is.

    Rufus and I had fun with it, indeed. Now let's see what happens when my F-post comes out on Monday. Thanx for stopping by - and sorry for the troubles Trey, not sure what was happening there. The blog's comment setting are as open as open can be, baby!

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  11. Hello there. Just stopping by to wish you all the best with the challenge.
    Entrepreneurial Goddess

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