Monday, February 10, 2014

The 10 Hottest Comicbook Couples...Alright Alright Alright

From Superman and Lois Lane to Spider-Man and Mary Jane Watson (neither couple makes this list btw), there have been many hot couples throughout comicbook history.  We've seen Gambit and Rogue, Thor and the Lady Sif (or Jane Foster, if you want to go in that direction), Kitty Pryde and Colossus, and Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon.  None of these couples are on the list either.  There have been such hot superheroing couples as Storm and Black Panther (or Storm and Wolverine or Storm and Nightcrawler or Storm and Gambit, or...gee Ororo has gotten around, hasn't she?), and Aquaman and Mera.  And no, none of these made the list either..sorry 'bout that.  We've gotten such bizarro couples as Big Barda and Mister Miracle, and Wonder Woman and Nemesis.  Hell, Wonder Woman has even been seen with Batman as well.  And we probably shouldn't go into what happens on Paradise Island.  After all, as the old saying goes, what happens on Paradise Island stays on Paradise Island.  Oh, and yeah, none of these couples make the list either.

Other hot comicbook couples who miss out on the list include, Scarlet Witch and Vision (or Scarlet Witch and Wonderman), Reed and Sue Richards, Rictor and Shatterstar, Havok and Polaris, Logan and Mariko, Janet Van Dyne and Hank Pym, Hulkling and Wiccan, Magneto and Rogue (yeah, that happened), Hawkeye and Black Widow (or Hawkeye and Mockingbird, or Hawkeye and Spider-Woman, or,,,gee Clint gets around to), Luke Cage and Jessica Jones, Winter Soldier and Black Widow, Nightwing and Starfire, Pietro and Crystal (or Crystal and Ronan), Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, Johnny Storm and Darla Deering, Boy Blue and Rose Red (yeah, we gotta throw some Fables peeps into the mix, eh?  Check out number ten on the list for some more), and, of course, Scott Summers and Jean Grey - but ya know what, none of these couples make the list either.  Yeah, that's right, Scott and Jean are not here.  Shocking, I know. One could also toss in Saga's Alana and Marko (he's got horns, she has wings!!), Suzie and Jon of Sex Criminals, and maybe even Thanos and Lady Death (I'm sure someone thinks them hot, right?).  But enough of these non-list makers, let's move on to the top ten.

And awaaaaaaay we go...

Special Mention: Wolverine and Squirrel Girl


That's right gang, Wolverine and Squirrel Girl.  The most rough and tumble guy in the Marvel Universe, with claws that would rip ya to shreds just as soon as look atchya, and...um, Squirrel Girl, a former member of the Great Lakes Avengers.  In a rather heeelarious few panels in Brian Michael Bendis' New Avengers, we get more than mere suspicion about the past of these two extremely unlikely lovers.  Was it just a one night tryst?  Was it an actual relationship?  What can she do with that tail?  Hmmm.

10. Bigby Wolf and Snow White


C'mon!  They are Snow Freakin' White and the Big Bad Wolf!  Two iconic, fabled characters, both with sexuality, and inherent sexual tension, oozing out of them.  How could this coupling not make a list of the hottest comicbook couples!?  Sure, their romance hasn't been the easiest or smoothest of romances (it's not like it was a fairy tale roman...oh...um, never mind) but isn't it that same hot-tempered sexual tension, not to mention the whole lycanthropic thing, that makes 'em so good together - and so so hot?  Grrrrr.

9. Black Bolt and Medusa


Now this is a power couple.  A king and a queen, and deeply in love.  The sexy royal couple of the mighty Inhumans.  One tall dark and handsome, the other a fiery and lithe redhead.  One the stoic type (well, he kinda has to be), the other a fury of emotion and determination.  Together they are hot hot hot.  And as for actual coupling, just imagine what Medusa can do with those superstrong prehensile red locks of hers. Just don't let hubby Black Bolt scream during sex.  Now that would be inhuman.

8. Apollo and Midnighter


Forget Hulkling and Wiccan, or Shatterstar and Rictor - this is the best damn gay couple in comics.  Sure, Marvel's Northstar may have been the first major comic character to come out of the closet, but it was this hunky DC duo that became the first mainstream same sex couple, and the first ones to actually tie the knot - something DC tends to avoid these days.  The fact that they are basically an alternate version of Superman and Batman, makes their manly love even better - and possibly a lot more Freudian as well.

7. Hawkman and Hawkgirl


Winged warriors, taloned heroic fury, full of vim and vinegar, lust and love, and some intriguing archaic magical totems.  These Hawksian lovers, tough as tough can be (and intertwined in a seemingly eternal kind of love) make for a hotter than hot couple.  Kicking ass and taking names for nigh on seventy years now, this DC power couple cannot be denied their ultimate, mile high sex appeal - and a damn adorable couple as well.  Now, does this count as being part of the mile high club?

6. Green Arrow and Black Canary


On one side ya have a guy with a blonde goatee and a quiver full of trick arrows (is that a euphemism?) and on the other a girl in fishnet stockings with the most killer of voices.  How could they not be one of the hottest couples in comicbook history?  Seriously, how could they not!?  True, they argue and fight all the time, but such unbridled passion, such deep-seeded lust, is great for both kicking the bad guy's collective asses, and for making one of the hot hot hottest of all superhero romances.

5. Daredevil and Elektra


Granted, these two weren't a couple for very long (ya know how death sometimes has a tendency of getting in the way of such things - sometimes) but what a couple they made while they were together.  Elektra on her own is considered one of the sexiest comicbook ass-kickers of all-time, but add in the all-time greatest superhero (that's right!) and ya got a hot match made in Hell - or Hell's Kitchen, if you will.  Now as long as we keep ignoring that stupid movie, their love will never become tainted.

4. Superman and Wonder Woman


Forget that mamby-pamby (and rather annoying) Lois Lane. The only lady woman enough for the Man of Steel (and the only woman tough enough to take on that Kryptonian seed, if ya know what I mean), is the Amazonian princess (and current Goddess of War) known as Wonder Woman.  With a lust that is both super and wonderful, this is the definitive DC power couple right here.  The ultimate power couple, indeed.  One can only imagine that their love making is...well, Earth shattering.  Boom!

3. Joker and Harley Quinn


The master of crime and the mistress of the loony bin.  Who ever thought that Joker would snag himself a girlfriend someday, and who ever thought she would be as smokin' hot (and smokin' crazy) as Harley Quinn?  Well okay, the smokin' crazy part was probably inevitable, but you get my drift.  These two are definitely the most whacked couple on this list, and if you happen to be into such relationships (and who hasn't been in one or two of these over the years?) then this one is uber-hot.

2. Scott Summers and Emma Frost


Sorry Jean Grey, but you're old news these days.  Sure, you may as hot as any redheaded superheroine  out there, but Cyclops sees everything as red, so that's nothing special.  The main problem is that you just have such a problem staying alive.  Ya just can't be trusted to stand by your man, baby.  Now Emma on the other hand...well, okay, this White Queen is batshitcrazy, but damn do her and Scotty make a super hot couple.  Seriously though, how does she even keep that outfit on?  Seriously, how?

1. Batman and Catwoman


Seriously, how could any other couple sit atop this list?  Individually, Bruce Wayne's Batman and Selina Kyle's Catwoman are the hottest damn heroes in comics.  They kick ass better than anyone and they look better in their costumes than anyone.  Put 'em together and you get a beyond smokin' hot super couple, that can not only kick each other's asses, but all of their rogue's gallery of villains as well.  Oh yeah, and there might be just the slightest touch of forbidden love and all that as well.

That's it gang.  See ya 'round the web.

6 comments:

  1. Funny, many years ago I got into trouble reading such comics. My boarding school were very critical and very upset even though my parents let me read them.

    JO ON FOOD, MY TRAVELS AND A SCENT OF CHOCOLATE

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  2. Though it is much better today, there will always be those critical of kids reading comics. Of course many comics are made exclusively for adults. These days though, with nerd culture becoming mainstream, and superheroes leading the box office every year, comics are no longer all that sinister seeming - even though there are still quite a lot of sinister doings going on in modern day sequential art.

    Thanx for stopping by. Good to see fellow bloggers saying hi. Keep on keepin' on. See ya 'round the web.

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  3. Great number one. They ARE the sexiest, hottest, va-va-va-voom couple in comics! Good call on Emma Frost too. Fuck that dying bitch Jean Grey. And Squirrel Grrrl!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!

    Where the fuck are Psylocke and Archangel? Blue skin? Wings? Betsy's body? C'mon!

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  4. Great list! Although I can't argue with any of your pics, I am currently pretty partial to Alana and Marko from Saga. Happy to see Bigby and Snow, too.

    Thanks for posting this!

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  5. Hey Esther baby, Yeah, Squirrel Grrrrrl. Thanx for making your presence known 'round here.

    Kevin (ya know you spell your name funny, dontchya?), anyhoo, thanx for stoppin' by. I've been trying to get more commenters/contributors/whatevers for a while now, and it's nice to see old friends checkin' things out.

    And yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Everyone's been talkin' about Alana and Marko (I'm surprised you didn't mention 'em Esther) and why they're not on the list. Whelp, somebody had to be cut to get the list to ten...er, eleven counting Logan and Squirrelly.

    Again, thanx for stopping by guys and gals. Hope to see ya 'round these parts again.

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  6. Great list buddy boy. That Harley Quinn is one hot mama! And I love love fucking love your choice of Emma over Jean. Sure Jean is the red hot mama dream girl of many a fanboy, myself included (love them redheads baby), but Scott and Emma...their relationship just seems deeper and more fun than Scott and Jean ever did.

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