Saturday, February 22, 2014

Guest Post: The Dangers of Being The Dangerman Pt. II

ed. note: The below diatribe/semi-incomprehensible rant was written by All Things Kevyn foreign-esque correspondent, Rufus Dangerman.  The opinions in said rant do not necessarily reflect those views held by the owners of this blog, but then again, maybe they do.  So, without further ado, here it is...

Well here we are again bitches! Why I was asked to do a second guest post, I don't know. I mean, my first post was just a ramblin' mess, full o' bullshit and cantankerous mockery. Let's face facts people, I'm an asshole. A bona fide jackass. This ain't no secret, everyone knows it. You the reader knows it, our hovering webmaster Kevyn knows it, and I certainly fuckin' know it. But hey man, who am I to argue? If I'm asked to come back and do another post, then I ain't a-arguin'. I'm just gonna do it, and hope no one notices, or cares, how big a jackass I happen to be. So, with all that in mind, here we go. You have been warned. No blamin' me now.

I have lived much of my life on the road, or "On the Road" as the case may be, but recently I have settled down, as much as this body and mind can settle down, in the town of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.  I grew up around here actually.  Yea, I was born in a wee small town out in Western Pa, but when I was nine, my parents dragged me and my sister, who was just six and a half at the time, to a place called Halifax.  Yea, Halifax.  What a disgusting sounding name for a disgusting place.  But anyway, cut to a little after my eighteenth birthday and I found myself working at a restaurant in downtown Harrisburg.  This is the state capital by the way, about twenty minutes away from Haliflaaaxxx.  The restaurant was called Scott's and I was working as a server there.  By the way, this is where I first met our not-so-humble blogmeister, Kevyn Knox.  But I am getting a bit off topic here.  Ya see, after a couple or three years working the daily grind, I headed out to parts unknown.  I had to escape the dreary life I saw happening to me and explore the wild frontier.  Like Jack Kerouac, I went on the road.  Thus began, life on the road.  Duh.

So, after years on that damnable road, from sea to fucking shining sea, I decided to make my way back to Harrisburg, the so-called Burg.  Yea, I had visited now and then over my years on the road, but two years ago I decided to actually move back here for real.  So, after a baker's dozen years on the road, I found myself back in The Burg. I met up with old friends, and old enemies, and for a while I really liked it.  Then last year, something happened.  The place changed somehow.  Now run by a bunch of fucking hipster wannabe assholes, Harrisburg seems like shit to me - just like it did when I first went on the road.  To toss in our blogmeister once again, part of what made this place shit again was the "letting go" of Kevyn and his wife Amy, from Midtown Cinema.  Midtown Cinema was once a great place.  It was first owned by a guy named Al Brown.  He owned it for like eight or nine years or however long.  After a while he sold the place to some typical upstart company in the city.  Yea, these guys were nothing more than corporate wannabes, but they did do one smart thing.  They hired Kevyn and Amy to run the place, which they did for nearly five years.

Like I said, I visited here from time to time and whenever I was back I had the best of times hanging out at the cinema.  Great movies and great atmosphere.  When I moved back in 2012, I became a regular at the place.  Then the shit storm came.  After the owner decided to put his friend in charge of things, she decided she wanted it all and set out on trying to get Kevyn and Amy to quit, which they would not do.  So, after five years of making the cinema a rousing success - and yes, they are responsible for that happening!!!! - they were fired.  The reason given was because they wanted to go another direction.  Now the friend is fully in charge, and other friends have been added to the soup, and now all the things Kevyn and Amy did to build the place up, are being exploited by the new people in town, and they have taken credit for it all.  Now I know Kevyn would not write any of this himself, for fear of sounding petty or bitter, but I as an outsider, can say fuck 'em all!  Come on Kev, make sure ya print this.  I says fuck 'em all!!!  You guys gave your lifeblood for that place and they kick you in the ass for it!!  They stole your gig, stole your show, have taken credit for things you and Amy have done, and even implemented ideas that the two of you came up with but were told by the powers that be, that you could not do.  Fuck 'em all.

Even now, after nearly eight months out, these asshats are still trying to take pot shots at Kevyn and Amy by badmouthing them to potential future employers.  I says fuck 'em all.  I haven't set foot in that place since, and I gots no respect for anyone who says they liked what Kevyn and Amy were doing, but still frequent that hellhole!!!  The place is run by bad bad people, and if ya don't already know that, ya should learn it.  And trust me, there are stories of corporate bullshit and screwing over of employees, that would make your fuckin' hair stand on end. And like I said, Kevyn and Amy would not say this themselves because they are better people than that, but I ain't. Hopefully Kevyn will print this. It's not like I named names. Did I mention fuck 'em all!!!  But it's not just these guys that are making the place shit again.  Harrisburg has become a bed of bullshit once again all over the fuckin' place, and with all that is happening, I think it's time for The Dangerman to head back out on the road.  So, I bid Harrisburg yet another adieu - a fucking auf weidersehen even!  It can get lonely on the road - depressingly lonely, hardcase lonely - but I gotta go.  I'm gettin' the fuck outta here, and Kevyn and guys should do the same.  You at least have each other to stave off the loneliness.  Go somewhere that you can be appreciated and not spat on like Harrisburg has done to ya.  Go someplace where ya can get a fair shake.  I know, you say you like the place, but for me though, it's back on the road again.  Maybe the left coast is a good place to hang my hat for a while. As long as I'm outta this dump again. Oh but don't worry my peeps, The Dangerman will still be found here and there online - maybe even with another guest post if Kev-Dogg don't send me too much flack for screamin' and shoutin' and havin' his back here.  See ya on da flipside, cats and kittens.


The man known as Rufus Dangerman can be found elsewhere on the world wide web as well, such as at his website, The Dangerman Blog; his Tumblr site, It Ain't What it Used to Be; and, of course, just like every other mo-fo on the planet, on Facebook as well.  That's it for now.  Be back for more next time...if you so dare.


  1. Thanx Rufus. I appreciate the kind words for Amy and I. Yeah, sometimes some people can be assholes...and they don't realize it or just don't care. Hopefully some better people will someday own the cinema, and I will once again patronize the place. I do miss going to the movies there, but as long as bad humans own the place, my state of mind is better off away from the place.

    At least come by and say see ya before ya leave.

  2. Any time buddy boy. I know you like takin' the high road, but sometimes ya gotta get your hands dirty and call the assholes out. Hope things are better these days. I'm in Portandia as of three days ago. Took the train out and stayin' with a friend. Keep in touch bruthah.

  3. Portland's a great place. Have fun. And yeah, thanx for calling out the assholes, not that they are reading this.