ed. note: The below diatribe/semi-incomprehensible rant was written by All Things Kevyn foreign-esque correspondent, Rufus Dangerman. The opinions in said rant do not necessarily reflect those views held by the owners of this blog, but then again, maybe they do. So, without further ado, here it is...
I have lived much of my life on the road, or "On the Road" as the case may be, but recently I have settled down, as much as this body and mind can settle down, in the town of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. I grew up around here actually. Yea, I was born in a wee small town out in Western Pa, but when I was nine, my parents dragged me and my sister, who was just six and a half at the time, to a place called Halifax. Yea, Halifax. What a disgusting sounding name for a disgusting place. But anyway, cut to a little after my eighteenth birthday and I found myself working at a restaurant in downtown Harrisburg. This is the state capital by the way, about twenty minutes away from Haliflaaaxxx. The restaurant was called Scott's and I was working as a server there. By the way, this is where I first met our not-so-humble blogmeister, Kevyn Knox. But I am getting a bit off topic here. Ya see, after a couple or three years working the daily grind, I headed out to parts unknown. I had to escape the dreary life I saw happening to me and explore the wild frontier. Like Jack Kerouac, I went on the road. Thus began, um...my life on the road. Duh.
So, after years on that damnable road, from sea to fucking shining sea, I decided to make my way back to Harrisburg, the so-called Burg. Yea, I had visited now and then over my years on the road, but two years ago I decided to actually move back here for real. So, after a baker's dozen years on the road, I found myself back in The Burg. I met up with old friends, and old enemies, and for a while I really liked it. Then last year, something happened. The place changed somehow. Now run by a bunch of fucking hipster wannabe assholes, Harrisburg seems like shit to me - just like it did when I first went on the road. To toss in our blogmeister once again, part of what made this place shit again was the "letting go" of Kevyn and his wife Amy, from Midtown Cinema. Midtown Cinema was once a great place. It was first owned by a guy named Al Brown. He owned it for like eight or nine years or however long. After a while he sold the place to some typical upstart company in the city. Yea, these guys were nothing more than corporate wannabes, but they did do one smart thing. They hired Kevyn and Amy to run the place, which they did for nearly five years.
Even now, after nearly eight months out, these asshats are still trying to take pot shots at Kevyn and Amy by badmouthing them to potential future employers. I says fuck 'em all. I haven't set foot in that place since, and I gots no respect for anyone who says they liked what Kevyn and Amy were doing, but still frequent that hellhole!!! The place is run by bad bad people, and if ya don't already know that, ya should learn it. And trust me, there are stories of corporate bullshit and screwing over of employees, that would make your fuckin' hair stand on end. And like I said, Kevyn and Amy would not say this themselves because they are better people than that, but I ain't. Hopefully Kevyn will print this. It's not like I named names. Did I mention fuck 'em all!!! But it's not just these guys that are making the place shit again. Harrisburg has become a bed of bullshit once again all over the fuckin' place, and with all that is happening, I think it's time for The Dangerman to head back out on the road. So, I bid Harrisburg yet another adieu - a fucking auf weidersehen even! It can get lonely on the road - depressingly lonely, hardcase lonely - but I gotta go. I'm gettin' the fuck outta here, and Kevyn and Amy...you guys should do the same. You at least have each other to stave off the loneliness. Go somewhere that you can be appreciated and not spat on like Harrisburg has done to ya. Go someplace where ya can get a fair shake. I know, you say you like the place, but for me though, it's back on the road again. Maybe the left coast is a good place to hang my hat for a while. As long as I'm outta this dump again. Oh but don't worry my peeps, The Dangerman will still be found here and there online - maybe even with another guest post if Kev-Dogg don't send me too much flack for screamin' and shoutin' and havin' his back here. See ya on da flipside, cats and kittens.
The man known as Rufus Dangerman can be found elsewhere on the world wide web as well, such as at his website, The Dangerman Blog; his Tumblr site, It Ain't What it Used to Be; and, of course, just like every other mo-fo on the planet, on Facebook as well. That's it for now. Be back for more next time...if you so dare.